Robot and other 'Shots
by JadeBrycin2116
Summary: A series of 'shots/songfics, mostly dramatic. CHAPTER 7: Just A Dream. "Here was her necklace, but where was she? She had to be here right? He was expecting it to-she just had to be here…" Wally wakes up in the middle of the night after dreaming about Artemis, but she wasn't really there and now she might not ever be.
1. Chapter 1

**Robots and other** **'shots**

Hey guys!

_After writing my first one shot/song fic, I found that i really enjoyed it and it was nice to take a break from the same stories from time to time. It also really seems to help with writer's block :) So i decided to take this fic, and turn it into a series shots (one, two, or maybe even three) and song fics :) Yaaay!_

_However, since i'm not an endless foutain of creativity...I thought it would be cool to take suggestions as well. If you have any, i would love to hear them, if not...here's the first story :)_

**Songfic: "Robot" by Never Shout Never**

**Summary**: When Dick fails to help Wally, Wally winds up injured. Consumed with guilt, Dick becomes preoccupied with trying to find reasons why things went wrong. Fed up by his distance and their failing relationship in general, Zatanna leaves him. After losing everything on the reckless mission, Artemis breaks up with Wally. Heartbroken, he turns to the a solution no one would have ever imagined.

This story ties into the song "Robot" by Never Shout Never (neither of which I own xp) and I personally feel that this story is best when you actually hear the song playing in the background (thats how i wrote it haha) so i suggest opening youtube in another tab so you can enjoy the story to its full potential :) i wud lov to know if you guys thought the song and story tied in well together.

Its just a suggestion, but i think it would help lol anyways thanks for stopping by to check it out. I hope you enjoy and plz review!

i do not own young justice or the song "Robot" by Never Shout Never

**btw when i wrote this, i imagined dick being about 17 or 18 and wally being about 19 or 20

* * *

><p><em><strong>I'm just a robot, I have no fears,<strong>_

_**I lack emotion and I shed no tears. **_

Dick sat as his desk glancing back and forth between his computer screen and the mess of papers sprawled out across his desk. "_I don't understand_," he muttered to himself, forehead creased and resting in the palm of his hand, "I don't get it. I thought I had everything. What happened?"

He stared at his work, looking for answers that simply weren't there. He knew they weren't there. This had been the millionth time he'd gone over this stuff in the past nine days. Nothing he was looking at made sense to him, which wasn't something he was used to at all. He understood _everything_. Everything always worked out the way he planned it in his mind and there wasn't much he couldn't eventually make sense of. But this…this just wasn't right? How could he have missed something? That wasn't like him. He was meticulous and used to succeeding in the end. It had been that way for years. He was fearless and well-trained, like Batman had taught him to be. The idea that there was something out there that had gotten past his intelligence and cunning was impossible.

"Ugh!" he huffed furiously, taking his hands and violently pushing everything off of his desk. His computer crashed to the ground, as useless papers flew around the room, carelessly fluttering by and mocking him.

"Oh my God Dick, what's going on in here? Are you okay?"

Zatanna stood in the doorway after she had run into the study. She was taken back upon witnessing the scene. She knew what was going immediately though, as she laid eyes on her distraught boyfriend staring at his own destructive handy work. She bit her bottom lip and gently walked towards him, "Dick it's almost ten. Come to bed and relax with me. You've been at this for days. It was one mistake. Nobody blames you."

She tried to place a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he jerked away in frustration. He didn't want false words of comfort; he wanted answers and explanations to how any of this had happened in the first place. He needed something to prove that it wasn't just his own carelessness that had caused this disaster. He couldn't live with idea of that. That's why he'd been spending every minute of his free time for the last nine days staring at all of these screens and papers. "Zatanna please, not right now. Just go back to the bed and I'll come up later."

"B-but I just-"

"I said go to bed!" he suddenly shouted at her. Even he wasn't sure where it had come from after the fact. He had been holding in so many mixed emotions lately, any little thing was liable to set him off.

She took a startled step away from her boyfriend, her body shaking. "I'm sorry Dick! I know you're upset a-and confused. We all are, but there isn't anything anybody can do now! It already happened…Instead of isolating yourself in this stupid study why don't you man up and go be there for them! You're the only person who hasn't shown up at the infirmary since it happened!"

Dick resisted the urge to yell again, though it wasn't an easy task. Anger was the only true emotion he'd been able to act on in days. He couldn't go to the infirmary. He'd lose it there. He couldn't face the overwhelming reminders of his failure that would be all around the building. Worst of all, he couldn't show how he was truly feeling. Especially because he was the leader now. He couldn't let his team see how alone and miserable he felt. Or how truly scared he was on the inside. He'd rather bury himself in work, shielding his emotions and pretending he was fine. It was a much easier way to distract himself with trying to figure how things had gone so wrong in the first place.

_**I'm just a coma, a deadly sleep**_

_**My heart is breaking but I just can't weep.**_

"I don't want to hear this right now okay? Just leave me alone please Z," he said. Then he turned his back to the dark haired girl to avoid looking into her heartbroken, red stained eyes.

She wiped at her cheek, a mild glare replacing the frown on her tear streaked face, "You can't lock yourself in here forever. Or ignore everyone's attempt to reach out and contact you either. You have to come out eventually and talk... Or I guess you could stare at these papers for the rest of your life, but you're never going to find what you're looking for. You're going to have to face what happened eventually Dick, because despite what you may think, these emotions you're suppressing aren't going away after you find these _answers_."

"I never said they were. I-I just can't…I can't go up there…," he admitted timidly. An unwanted lump slowly lodged itself in his throat. His body had been trying to force him to cry for days, but he'd refused to shed a single tear. Strong leaders did not cry, he knew that from watching his mentor. Batman didn't lose it and he wouldn't right now, "Not without an explanation or some kind of answer."

"Nobody gives a shit about your fucking answers Dick! These _'answers'_ are just your excuse to alienate yourself and hide from what's really going on! You always use your stupid hacking and research as your scapegoat! For once I wish you would admit defeat or let yourself make a mistake. Ever since you became leader, it's like you've lost yourself. You're not the same person I fell in love with…That Dick had his priorities straight. He knew his limits, and he accepted them. Stop acting like you're so together and fearless all the time when you're not."

A sigh of irritation escaped from the teen's lips as he rolled his eyes, "What is this conversation about Zatanna? Is this about what happened or the flaws in my personality now?"

She couldn't believe how indifferently he was talking to her. It was like he was just brushing off what she was trying to say and this wasn't the first time she felt Dick was disrespecting her. He'd always been smarter than her, he was smarter than everybody, but he was never rude towards her. Lately though, it seemed that was changing. She hadn't even mean for the conversation to even take this turn and lead her in the direction of underlying problems in their relationship, but since it was already there, "I don't know…Both Dick, it's about both."

"Well if you have a problem with the person I am, you don't have to put up with me Z. Nobody's going to stop you if you want to leave," he said coldly. It sounded harsh, but he knew if it hadn't been so mean, he'd slip up and get emotional. He didn't want to risk that and maybe start crying because he wasn't sure when he'd stop.

"Don't do this. Don't make me choose," she whispered, suddenly sounding shy and timid. When Dick turned to face her, she looked down at her feet.

He rolled his eyes cockily figuring she was just bluffing, "Why not?"

"Because I don't think you'll like the decision I'll make."

Dick raised an eyebrow. He had a feeling he knew what she was getting at, but that couldn't be possible. There was no way she would really do that? She wouldn't seriously leave him…_would she_?

"What decision is that? You're not…" he trailed off, unable to say the words out loud. Zatanna simply nodded her head confirming it. He had one gotten at least one answer he was looking for today.

"I'm sorry, but I have too. I can't do this. I don't even know who you are anymore. I thought I did, but everything that's happened has forced me to accept that this isn't working. I fell in love with Robin back when he was sweet and innocent and smart and funny…when he cared more about his friends than being leader and didn't use his work as an excuse to hide from his real problems. I didn't fall in love with the Robin that is suddenly too busy trying to be anyone but himself, that he can't take a minute to go see his best friend in the infirmary or just go say that he was sorry or anything…You're acting like _him _more and more."

He lowered his eyebrows taking offense to what she was implying. _You're acting like him more and more_. Was she really going there? Was she suggesting that he was trying to be too much like Batman?

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're not him. Stop trying to be."

"I wasn't."

"Really? I haven't seen you look upset once since this happened. I haven't even seen you cry or act like you're the least bit worried about Wally. You just became all stoic and hid up here for nine days looking at these stupid papers for answers to how what happened _happened_ instead of just accepting it. That's not like you, especially not the _old_ you Dick. That's like him."

"Well I'm sorry, but we're not thirteen anymore Zatanna," Dick stated calmly, still trying to accept the fact that this was the beginning of the end for him and longtime girlfriend.

"You're right, we're not. Maybe you've spent so much time trying to be like him, that this new logical, cold, emotionless Dick is you now," she countered bitterly, crossing her arms in front of her chest. She knew what she was saying was bothering him, but it had to be said. If she didn't say it, nobody else was going to. Bottom line, becoming leader was turning him into somebody he just wasn't.

Dick didn't say anything back. He wasn't sure what to say. He wasn't _trying_ to be Batman. That was the last person he wanted to be compared too, whose standards he would have to be held too. He was just trying to be a good leader like Batman. Did everyone feel the same way about him as his own girlfriend did? Did all of his friends think that since he'd become leader he'd been trying so hard to be like his mentor, that he'd become an emotionless jerk?

"If it's possible, maybe you could bring the old you back for at least an hour or two and make your way up to the infirmary. I think Wally would really appreciate that more than if you brought him those stupid answers you've been looking for. Have you even thought about what you were going to do after you found them? Would finding them change the fact that your friends got hurt or would they just make it easier for you to face Wally? Maybe you should consider who the answers are really for Dick?" she suggested before walking towards Dick's bedroom in the penthouse Batman had given him upon his graduation from Gotham Academy. She headed directly towards the clothes she had hanging in the back of the closet.

_**So dear I want you to cry,**_

_**And I want you to cry for me. **_

Dick stood alone for a second staring at the rubble and papers spread across the floor. All of this stuff that he'd been so preoccupied with since the incident nine days ago, since he'd become leader honestly, just didn't seem so important anymore. All of this stuff was replaceable. His girlfriend and relationships with his friends weren't.

He closed his eyes and choked back a few stray tears. He still wasn't going to do it. Crying made it all real. It made the guilt and hurt he felt real. It brought all of the things he'd been suppressing since he'd become leader. He wasn't quite ready to accept that yet.

"Zatanna I'm sorry," he said as he walked into the brightly lit bedroom. She had a large bag resting on top on the bed and was already stuffing piles of clothes into it without any type of order. "Can't you just stay and cool down some? At least until the morning?"

She shook her head, but continued to rip handfuls of clothes off hangers in the closet and shove them into her bag, "I don't want to drag this out. That won't be good for either of us. It would be better if I just go now."

Though she tried to hide it, Dick saw as she wiped a fallen tear from her cheek. She didn't want to leave and he didn't want her too either. If he had known that all of this was going to happen, he would have never agreed to lend Wally his expertise or even take on the leader role in the first place.

"Please. I don't want you to leave. I want to work on this. I want to work on us."

"It's too late Dick. We should've done this a long time ago. I wish it hadn't taken Wally and Artemis getting hurt for us to realize it but this just isn't working anymore."

Regardless of what she'd just said, Dick walked towards Zatanna and placed a hand on top of the bag as she attempted to shove in another ball of clothing. She glared at him, but quickly realized he wasn't going to move his hand, and threw the clothes down on the bed beside her bag.

"Don't do this to me," he begged, "Not now Z. I _need_ you. I need you to _help_ me…I don't want to be like him. I want….I lost myself for a while there, but I'm ready to find me again."

She looked into her boyfriend's pleading eyes and almost felt herself giving in before averting her eyes and holding her ground. "No Dick. I can't help you." She said and slowly took his hand, moving it from its position blocking the opening of her bag.

_**I don't want you to lie to me,**_

_**And say that it will be alright**_.

"You can't?" he accused, taking her chin in and gently forcing her to look him directly in his ice blue eyes, "Or you won't?"

"I can't Dick. I can't make you into the person you want to be," she softly pushed his hand, releasing the grip he had on her face, "Not when you're not sure who that even is."

He opened his mouth to counter, but all he could manage was, "_Z_…" before closing his mouth again.

She was right. He wasn't sure _who_ he was anymore. He wasn't Batman, fearless leader who often kept to himself and was always one step ahead of everyone else at all times. Batman, who spent most of his time trying to make sure Dick ended up _nothing_ like him. Dick knew he wasn't that. But he wasn't sweet, innocent, carefree Robin from when he was thirteen and he'd met Zatanna for the first time either. He couldn't be. He was leader now. That changed things. It came with certain responsibilities, but at the same time, hadn't required that he become a cold, overworked, emotionless, shell of his former self either.

He should've visited Wally by now. He should have apologized by now. He should have done a lot of things that he hadn't.

"You're going to figure it out Dick and maybe when you do…we can give this another try," she said halfheartedly, pulling on clothes that were more acceptable to wear out than the lace pajamas she had on.

He stared at her with longing and disbelief, "Do you really believe that? _Really? _Don't lie to me."

_**And I want you to say goodbye,**_

_**But girl I want you to mean it.**_

She didn't reply, as she tossed her bag over her shoulder.

"Don't say it unless you really mean it Zatanna. I don't want to get my hopes up aiming for a target I'm never going to hit."

Slowly she walked passed Dick while exhaling a long sigh, "That's half your problem now. Maybe it's not always about _hitting_ the target. Remember when just _trying_ was enough?"

He lowered his eyes, "Trying isn't good enough anymore. I've _tried_ at a lot of things and look where it's gotten me. My girlfriend of four years is leaving me and I landed my best friend and his girlfriend in the infirmary. I don't want to waste my time. I want to know that I'm still going to have a chance."

Zatanna shook her head and began to walk down the hallway planning to ignore his previous statement. He just didn't get it and he wouldn't get it until he figured himself out. Everything didn't need to be perfect or have logical answers. _Dick_ didn't need to be perfect or be able to figure out all of the answers either. She just wanted him to be himself. If he messed up again, she wanted to know he wasn't going to retreat to some secluded room and hide from his problems, trying to justify his mistakes with the "answers" he'd found. If she got hurt, she wanted to know she wasn't going to have to wait almost two weeks for him to show up at the infirmary. If he was hurting, she wanted to know he wasn't going to hold it in and dwell on it for so long. She wanted him to _cry_ if he had to, like he used to before he'd taken on so much responsibility and become too serious to show the fact that he still had emotions to the team. Nobody was asking Dick to be perfect; he was doing that for himself.

As she thought and walked, she could hear him following behind her while she approached the door. She unlocked it and let her shoulders relax before she pulled the door open, "Goodbye Dick."

"Zatanna, you can't really be going through with this. It's late, jus-" he attempted to plead one final time.

"_Goodbye_ Dick. I'll see you around or something. Maybe at the infirmary," she exhaled as she stepped out into the hallway of luxury building.

_**And I want you to find a man,**_

_**Who's gonna treat you right.**_

She attempted to shut the door, but before she could close it all the way, Dick reached out and grabbed it. "Dick, what are you doing? Let the door go. I'm not going to change my mind."

Embarrassed and suddenly resenting whatever possessed him to stop the door in the first place, he lowered his eyes. "I k-know…," he choked out. Another lump formed in his throat as the reality that he and Zatanna were really over, officially sank it. He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes and even felt one run down his cheek. It felt warm against his cold skin, but not in the soothing way he imagined by any means. Of all the times for his repressed emotions to try and get the best of him, why now? He wasn't having it as he sucked it up and wiped the tear before Zatanna could see it.

"J-just be careful out there, please. D-don't get hurt, _for me_."

Zatanna smiled a weak half smile, knowing that Dick wasn't referring to any kind of physical pain. There wasn't much need for him to worry. She had no intention of rushing into any other relationships any time soon. Still she nodded before planting a final, soft kiss on Dick's cheek, "Only if you promise you won't get hurt out there either."

_**I'm just a virus inside your head,**_

_**You lay awake in your hospital bed **_

Wally stood silently in the doorway of Artemis' room as she stared blankly at an infomercial being given on TV. This was the third time it had been played in rotation, he knew because he'd been watching her unnoticed for at least fifteen minutes. She probably didn't know it was repeating though, because she wasn't watching the TV anyway. She just kept it on to drown out the overwhelming sound of silence. He knew, because he'd been doing it too…Anything to keep from thinking about _her_.

"_You really like the name?" Artemis asked with a skeptical eyebrow. Wally laughed and nodded genuinely. _

"_Yes I like it. If I didn't I would tell you, trust me. Wendy Iris West, kind of has a nice ring to it. But it's not better than Aiden Rudolph." _

_Artemis playfully shoved her boyfriend's shoulder, "Well it's gonna be a girl so, it's Wendy. Deal with it." _

They hadn't told anybody yet, not even their friends and family. His mind had been riddled with painful flashbacks and memories since the minute he woke up in the infirmary and the league had told him about what had happened to _her_. Anytime his mind began to wander the memories would came back to remind him of how this was all his fault in the first place. If he hadn't started leaving the TV on to create a distraction he would've gone crazy by now.

"_I saw him again today," the blonde said, an obvious tone of uneasiness in her voice, "I'm almost sure he knows. He has too. That's why he's been following me around." _

"_How could he? We haven't even told anyone, unless he's got like an in with your doctor or something? Look, don't worry about him. In fact, I'll handle it babe." _

_Artemis placed a hand on her stomach before looking up at her boyfriend with a frown, "I don't know. For once could you not be reckless and just leave it alone? I think I'd rather feel a little uneasy, than something happen to you before the baby gets here. I don't know what we'd do then. I would rather not take any unnecessary chances." _

Wally had cringed that day when his girlfriend had come to him sobbing about her father. He was clearly making some sort of threat by harassing Artemis like this and Wally didn't like it. All Sportsmaster was doing was creating stress that Artemis really didn't need right now. It was already hard enough trying to hide the fact she was having a baby in the first place.

"_That's why I called you Rob. I need to handle this now before it gets out of control. You think you could do some research for me? Maybe find out where he's staying and what kind of security he might have and precautions I should take? Possibly hook me up with some blueprints or something? I need to get in there and 'talk' to him, you know? He's ugh…he's really been scaring Artemis." _

"_Scaring Artemis?" Rob chuckled, "I didn't even think that was possible. Yeah KF. No prob. I'll try and get that to you ASAP alright?" _

It was almost funny now to think that somehow back then, he'd managed to actually charm her. How he had ever landed a girl this far out of his league was completely beyond him. They should have never been together in the first place, and in the real world they wouldn't have been. He thanked God he was Kid Flash sometimes. Though it was great looking back, he now regretted all the pain he'd caused her. Wally wished that she had never fallen in love with him. She was head over heels for him and he knew it. Once he got her, anything he needed or wanted, she would somehow get for him. He was the same way towards her but that was different. He could live with getting himself hurt, but not her.

_Artemis drew herself closer into his embrace and made herself comfortable against the familiar curves of his body, "I think I might just be in love with you Wallace West." _

_The speedster's cheek's immediately turned an embarrassingly bright shade of red, "Do you now? How do you know?" _

"_I'm not really sure. I just do. Somehow you actually got into my head and now I can't get rid of you, not that I want to…at least not anymore," she smiled as Wally stroked her hair in his hand. _

"_Good, because there's no way in hell I'd let you get rid of me anyway." _

_**I ain't no doctor, but I know you're sick.**_

_**Sick of the bullshit and the state I'm in.**_

It is in the middle of Wally's current flashback that Artemis notices his presence in the doorway. Despite everything they've been through, the look she gives him isn't warm or inviting.

"What do you want? I told you I didn't want to talk to you. Not yesterday or the day before that, and not today either," she says turning her head towards the window, "And how many times are they going to have to catch you out of bed before you finally just stay there. It's like you enjoy being irresponsible I swear."

"Arty, please. I just want to talk to you."

Wally can't help but be caught off guard as Artemis turns back towards him, anger blaring from her eye, "_Don't_ call me that. You may as well just go back to your room because I do not want anything to do with you right now and maybe not ever."

"Come on, please! Just hear me out. I'm sorry! I am _so_ sorry! I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

Artemis quickly rolled her eyes, "Obviously Wally."

"I wasn't thinking about the bigger picture."

"_You never are_."

"I…," he started before he could feel himself choking back the lump in his throat, "I don't want to lose you." He admits out loud while he has the chance. He's come to Artemis' room every day since he could bear walking down the hallway and has gotten nowhere. The first few days she wouldn't even look at him.

Feeling tears rush to her own eyes, Artemis averts her gaze away from the Wally's. "You already have."

Completely caught off guard, it takes him a second to compose an answer, "Come on beautiful, don't say that. You…you don't mean it."

Artemis turned, her eyes a puffy red, "I don't mean that? Why wouldn't I mean that? Why would I want to be with you anymore Wally? _Look_ at you! Look at _me_! Look at what you're stupid, impulsive ways cost us! I was four months Wally!" She reminded him as if he had forgotten. Even when Artemis was upset and regretful, Wally had been excited about the pregnancy. He actually kind of liked kids; besides the thought of Artemis carrying his child was more than he could ever hope for.

"I know! I am so sorry! I've been trying to apologize for days! I know it isn't going to bring her back, but I'm trying. I didn't want this! You weren't supposed to come a-"

"Not supposed to come? You were gone for hours and I was worried about you! You're lucky I did or you'd be dead right now."

"But at least you and Wendy would've been alright. You'd be fine, as opposed to laid up in that bed all because a stupid decision I recklessly made to go after your dad by myself," he said, beating himself up like he had been for the last nine days.

"How you were supposed to know about all of the traps, or even all of tricks, or that _she'd_ be there? Even Robin didn't know about some of them or they would have been on the blueprints and papers he gave you."

"I know, but sti-"

Artemis took a long deep breath in the middle of Wally's sentence, cutting him off. She was getting tired of this conversation. She hadn't meant for it to get this far anyway. "No, just stop okay? I don't want any explanations or excuses or whatever you're going to say. None of this should've happened. I told you I didn't want you to do anything about it, and you did anyway. Why couldn't you just listen to me? Just this one time?"

He stared down at the floor, shaking his head shamefully. Silence filled the room as she waited for an answer to her question. Artemis was prepared to ask it again, but after a few more seconds the speedster spoke up, saying the only thing he could come up with, "…_I don't know_."

It was the honest truth. He _didn't_ know. That just wasn't like him. Once he decided he wanted to do something, that was it. He was going to do it.

"See! This is why we wouldn't work Wally! It's like you don't listen or think anything through ever! You can't go off your impulses all of the time! You don't think my dad knew somebody would come after him if he kept following me long enough? You think he wasn't hoping it was you? That's what he wanted and he was ready for you, him and Cheshire! If I hadn't showed up and called some back up, we would've been dead. You barely made it out as it is! It'll be weeks until you came come back. And this isn't the first time? You think I like seeing you like this? I hate holding my breath every time you go one patrol, praying you don't act on one of your dangerous urges and get hurt again! I can't live like this anymore. I'm sick and tired of this bullshit! _It's not worth it._"

"You're not being serious right now? Tell me you're kidding? You're doing this right now Artemis? After everything, after losing the baby?" He was trying anything he could now. If his apology wasn't enough, maybe guilt would be.

Artemis began stroking the edge of her covers. She was just trying to distract herself and do anything to keep from looking up and seeing Wally's heartbroken expression. She knew she was breaking his heart, but she had to do it. If she didn't do it now, she'd resent him for the rest of their lives, "Yes Wally. I'm doing this now."

He was honestly in shock. This is the exact opposite of what he'd wanted to happen. Nine days ago he was supposed to confront Sportsmaster. He was supposed to be protecting his family. He wasn't supposed to be ambushed by Cheshire, or tortured for hours. He hadn't meant to be gone so long that Artemis got worried and tricked Dick into to tell her where he was. She wasn't supposed to show up looking for him when she should've been at their apartment resting.

It was all his fault. If he would have just thought this out, just this one time, he might've actually listened to Artemis and left it alone. Instead, he jumped head first into a risky solo mission and lost everything in one night. "Don't do this. I'll do whatever you want, whatever you ask! I just can't handle this right now Art_y_-Artemis. Please!"

"I'm sorry," she whispered, looking down at her covers, "I don't want to be with you anymore Wally."

_**So dear I want you to cry,**_

_**And I want you to cry for me. **_

He was in complete and total devastation as he struggled to stay standing. His could feel his heart beating faster and his head spinning. This was the love of his life. He thought he was going to be with her forever and now she was never going to look at him the same again. For all he knew, they might not ever even be friends again.

He could barely force himself to breath as he stood awestruck for several more moments. He'd messed up and lost the two things that had mattered most to him in the world. What did he have left? "I'm so sorry Artemis."

"Please get out of my room Wally."

He nodded and slowly turned around, getting ready to leave. Before he walked out, he stopped though. He knew she probably wouldn't return it, but he has to say it anyway. He had to say it one more time just in case, "You know I love you Arty. I always will. Nothing is going to change that."

"I love you too Wally…," she sighed reluctantly, "And I wish I didn't. _I wish I had never met you_."

He sighed under his breath, "Yeah sometimes I wish you'd never met me too."

When he got to his own infirmary room, he walked into the bathroom and splashed his face with cold water. His head spun with a mixture of guilt, pain, and flashbacks. He couldn't get his mind off of how heartbroken he was if he wanted to. The worst part was knowing that Artemis was completely justified in her actions. He'd messed up and they'd lost their baby because of it. That was unforgivable.

He felt like such a disappointment. He was a fuck up. What kind of superhero couldn't keep his own family safe? _What was he even good for?_ He wondered as he leant up against the counter.

Looking into the mirror, every bruise and bloody bandage reminded him of what a mistake and a failure he was. It reminded him of how he'd hurt Artemis and himself in the process. After a few seconds he couldn't stand it anymore, taking his fist and ramming it right into his own pathetic reflection. Glass shattered all over the counter and ground as Wally sunk to the floor. He buried his head into his knees and let go as one of his hands brushed against a sharp piece of glass on the floor. Wally fingered the edges for a brief moment before picking up the shard. The thought had never occurred to him before, but now it seemed like the best idea the speedster had ever had. Everything he was feeling could be over within a matter of minutes. The thought was almost consoling.

He exhaled in relief as the razor sharp edge pierced the skin on his wrist and deep down, hopefully severing an artery. It was comforting in a way. He switched the shard to his next hand and began on his other wrist.

"Wally? Is everything alright?" he heard a familiar female voice walking into his room. "I heard that noise. Did you seriously break something?"

She stared around the room, but didn't see him. If he was somewhere goofing around she was going to be pissed that she had even gotten up to see if he was okay. Realizing that this was probably a waste of time, she started to walk out. She wasn't going to stop, but when she saw a light coming from the bathroom she figured she might as well check in there, just in case. It was a good thing she did, though what she saw horrified her.

Wally was sitting on the floor, his back against the counter. All around him lie thick shards of glass from the broken mirror. His hands lie, palms up, on his blood stained thighs. The slits he'd put in them were clearly visible.

"Oh my God Wally! What did you-" she ran out into the hallway screaming out to anyone that might be able to hear her while choking back thick sobs, "Somebody please! Please! Wally's hurt!"

When she heard the sounds of feet coming towards the room, she ran back to Wally. She crouched down beside him and grabbed a towel from the counter, pressing it against his wrist in an attempt to stop the bleeding. "Wally what were you thinking? Why would you-how could-oh my gosh, just please don't die Wally," she was barely audible between the huffing and tears.

The speedster looked at her with a weak, dizzy smile. "_Hey Arty_."

_**I don't want you to lie to me,  
>And say that it will be alright.<strong>_

"Shh, don't talk. Y-you're going to be okay Wally. Somebody is coming."

"I thought you hated me," he said, forcing out a weak laugh.

She shook her head, forcing herself to fake a smile as tears continued to fall down her cheeks. Why would he do this? She hadn't meant for this to happen. Sure she'd said some things that probably hurt, but they were things he needed to hear. "I don't ha-"

"What happened in here!" Batman demanded, suddenly standing in the doorway. Flash ran to his nephew, completely distraught and pushing Artemis out of the way. Suddenly the blonde felt arms embracing her from behind, _Black Canary_.

"Come on Artemis, you don't need to see any more of this," the older woman cooed softly.

It was only then that it registered to her that Black Canary was slowly pulling her out of the bathroom. "No!" Artemis cried. Black Canary tightened her grip, "No! Let me stay please! _Please! Wally!_"

She was forced to watch as Batman carried Wally out of the bathroom, blood dripping from his wrists. No matter how hard she tried, Black Canary would not let her go.

"Artemis calm down," the older woman encouraged, "He's going to be alright."

Artemis did the exact opposite. Despite the pain the violent thrashing was causing her, she jerked her body anyway. She wanted to run and tell Wally she was sorry for what she had said earlier just in case she didn't get another chance. With everything she had, she elbowed the woman in her stomach and made a run for the door only to be stopped by her Uncle. She tried to push past him, but he wouldn't budge. Instead he took his arms and wrapped them around her, holding her until she finally broke down and collapsed in his arms.

_**And I want you to say goodbye,  
>But girl I want you to mean it.<strong>_

Wally looked around the room. His memory was fuzzy, but it wasn't like the one he'd been in before. This one was all white with only a bed, one chair, and a small window on the other side. He was hooked up to a steady IV and he could hear the faint beeping of a machine in the background. He took his hands and began to rub his eyes. That's when he noticed the blood stained bandages wrapped around his wrists and it slowly started coming back to him.

"_You're awake_."

He jerked his head in the direction of the speaker and saw Artemis sitting beside his bed. Her face was flushed red, and her eyes were puffy. He could only imagine what she's been going through while he was unconscious.

"Do you need anything? Are you hungry?" she asked quickly rising to her feet.

He shook his head. _What was she even doing up? Shouldn't she be resting_? He wondered to himself.

"How long have I been out?" he asked faintly.

She turned her head towards a clock on the other side of the room, trying to gage. She'd honestly lost track of time. Every minute had seemed like an hour to her as she waited for them to patch Wally up. "A few hours maybe. It's pretty early in the morning, like five. Almost everyone came by while you were asleep."

"Oh."

"Wally what the hell were you thinking? Are you crazy? You could've died."

The last thing he wanted to do was go into detail about what had happened, but he knew Artemis was stubborn and would refuse to drop it if he tried. He turned his eyes towards one of the room's blank walls. "That's kind of the idea Artemis."

"That isn't funny Wally."

"I wasn't trying to be."

"Don't act like this. Wally we all love you. Nobody wants you dead."

"I didn't ask for anybody else's opinion on the subject," he stated coldly. How was it that one second she was leaving him and the next she was crying over him? He thought it would be better for her if he wasn't around. All he did was hurt her anyway. He didn't want to be a constant reminder of that. Making her suffer was the last thing he wanted to ever do. It killed him to see her hurting just at the sight of him, so he'd slit his wrists to save them both. Yet she still wasn't happy? What did she want from him?

"_Wally_."

He didn't answer. His mouth didn't move. The speedster didn't even flinch at the sound of her saying his name. If he looked at her, he'd know he'd be drawn to her eyes. He be forced to come to terms with all the pain he'd just put her through again. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just stop hurting her? Why did it seem like he fucked up everything? He couldn't even kill himself right.

"I think you should go Artemis."

"Bu-"

"I'm not going to hurt myself," he assured, not that there was anything in here he could really use anyway. "I just need to be alone for a little bit." That was a lie. He wanted someone there, it just couldn't be her. Having her around but knowing they weren't ever going to be together, that she was only there because of what he'd done, hurt too much.

She took Wally's hand in hers, surprising him when he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, "Alright. Bye Wally. I'll be back later."

"Bye Artemis."

She let go of his hand, and held her arm against her chest, "I know, you want me to leave. I'm just glad you're okay. You scared me. I thought I was going to lose you completely. It's selfish, but I'm not ready to say goodbye to you for good, not yet."

_**And I want you to find a man,  
>Who's gonna treat you right.<br>I'll never treat you right.**_

"You just don't want to be with me either right?"

"Wally, I just don't think we're right for each other anymo-"

He cut her off before she give him and explanations or reasons. He didn't need them and they didn't matter. She's already left him anyway. Her explanations weren't going to change that or make it hurt any less. "No, it's fine. I understand, really. I have some things I need to work on and it's for the best right?" he didn't believe any of that, but it seemed like the right thing to say.

"Just promise me something Arty?" She looked down at him with large, curious eyes. She was completely unsure of what he was about to ask. She didn't even have a hunch. "Promise me that the next guy will be better alright? You deserve that. Don't let him hurt you, not like me."

_**I want you to cry,  
>And I want you to cry for me.<br>I don't want you to lie to me,  
>And say that it will be alright. <strong>_

Dick stood in his kitchen, forcing himself to sip on a glass of ice water. He was trying anything to occupy himself and keep his mind from thinking about how Zatanna had walked out on him less than an hour ago. As he stood there, his glass just as full as it was when he'd gotten the water ten minutes ago, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. The caller ID read "Zatanna". What would she want? Had she forgotten something?

He wanted badly to ignore the call, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. "Hello?" He could hear her breathing heavily on the other end of the phone before she even started to talk. Something was going on.

"Dick?"

"Zatanna? Zatanna, what's wrong?"

"Dick it's Wally. You have to get to the infirmary. Wally tried to kill himself. He slit his wrists."

He couldn't bring himself to say anything. He was too overwhelmed to even ask if he was okay. Why would he have done that? Whatever it was, Dick was sure it had something to do with what had happened. This was all his fault somehow and he knew it.

_**And I want you to say goodbye,  
>But girl I want you to mean it.<br>And I want you to find a man,  
>Who's gonna treat you right.<strong>_

"Oh my God Dick, say something! What is wrong with you? You're not even going to show up are you? I don't have time for this. I'm on my way there right now. Maybe if I get a chance I'll call you and tell you how he's doing."

"Zatanna wait!" he begged before she could hang up. He didn't want her to go. He wasn't sure what to say, he just knew he didn't want her off of the phone. He wasn't sure what he might do once he was truly alone again.

"Wait for what Dick? For you to pull your head out of your ass and come around? You want to be like _him_ so bad Dick, man up and take responsibility for what happened. Apologize to him. Come up here and see him instead of sitting at home feeling guilty. Do anything that shows that you might actually give a fuck about somebody other than yourself!"

Just like that, the conversation was over and Dick found himself alone again.

Even hours after it had ended, the conversation left him furious. He was so angry, but it wasn't directed towards his old girlfriend. It was directed towards himself. He didn't know what was wrong with him and why he'd changed so much since he'd become leader, but he needed to do something to fix it right now, before he lost anything else he cared about.

He ran upstairs and threw on a jacket with some sweatpants, before grabbing his keys and running out of the door. It was a little after four in the morning, but coming at four was better than not coming at all, right? It was at least a step towards what Zatanna had been talking about.

_**So dear I want you to cry,  
>And I want you to cry for me.<br>I don't want you to lie to me,  
>And say that it will be alright.<strong>_

Dick was more than surprised to see Wally turn and look at him as he tried to sneak into his room early that morning.

"_Dick_?" the red head asked, a little surprised himself. He hadn't seen or talked to his friend since he'd been in the infirmary. Why, he wasn't sure. He'd been too preoccupied with his own issues to even ask.

"_Hey_," Dick said shyly. His eyes couldn't help but be drawn to every bruise and injury on Wally's body. He felt like he'd personally caused everyone. If only he'd caught everything before he'd given his friend that information.

"So I guess you heard?"

"Um, heard what?" the younger boy lied, knowing exactly what Wally was referring too. He just didn't want to make him uncomfortable and bring it up.

Wally held up his wrists for Dick to see. Seeing the bandages made it that much more real for the smaller hero. "Wally. Oh my God. What happened? _Why_?" As he asked, Dick couldn't help but think in the back of his mind that he would the answer to that if he'd been around the last few days to visit.

"I don't know," shrugged Wally, "It's hard to explain…A couple of reasons I guess? A lot was going through my mind at the time."

The room went silent as Dick couldn't figure out what to say next. He wasn't sure what kind of things you were supposed to say in these types of situations. Finally after what seemed like an eternity Wally spoke up again.

"Where have you been Dick? Why is this the first time I've seen you since I've been in here?"

He shuffled nervously where he stood trying to come up with a decent excuse or lie to tell. When he couldn't come up with anything he relaxed his shoulders and exhaled, "I ugh…I couldn't-I didn't want to see you like this. I'm sorry. I should've come by, but I felt so guilty about the whole thing. I messed up, missed something in the research I did for you so you and Artemis got hurt. I couldn't face you."

Wally laughed a little to himself, throwing his friend off. This wasn't funny. It was serious. "You're really something. That's why you didn't show up? You know me Dick. I don't blame you. I should've never went in the first place."

Dick didn't believe that it was Wally's fault for one second. Wally was only trying to take the blame because that was the kind of person he was. He was always looking out for everyone else first. He always meant well. "No, you were just trying to protect your girlfriend-"

"And the baby," Wally quickly added.

Dick looked at the speedster with an eyebrow raised, "And the baby? Who brought a baby?"

"Artemis did. _She was pregnant_."

The information hit Dick like a ton of bricks. Artemis was pregnant. They must not have told any of the team members. "I had no idea."

"Yeah we didn't really tell anybody. The League knows, _knew_…well they found out when they brought her into the infirmary."

"What do you mean they 'knew'?" Dick had picked up on that distinction immediately.

"She lost the baby."

_**And I want you to say goodbye,  
>But girl I want you to mean it.<br>And I want you to find a man,  
>Who's gonna treat you right.<strong>_

"Oh my God dude! I'm so sorry!"

Wally nodded. "And then she broke up with me today," he added.

Dick figured that was probably what had driven Wally off the edge and caused him to do what he'd done. That would definitely explain it at least. Suddenly all the guilt and pity Dick had been feeling for himself just didn't seem that important anymore, not in comparison. He had been so busy caught up in himself and what he was feeling, he hadn't really considered what his friend might be going through.

"_I-I'm sorry_."

Wally sniffled. He didn't want to cry in front of his leader and best friend. He didn't make it long before they started coming, so he just looked away from Dick, "I don't know what really happened after that. I broke the mirror and then I did my wrists and…and it just felt right. It was like suddenly there were no problems and no pressure. I didn't hate myself anymore."

"_Wally_."

"Yeah," he said chuckling a little in an effort to lighten the somber mood, "I know, it's messed up right?"

Dick just stared. He didn't want to say the wrong thing, but he didn't know what the right thing was, so he decided to just not say anything.

"And now, now I just don't know what I'm supposed to do, you know? What am I supposed to do like this? What am I gonna do without her? She's gone and I can't even blame her for leaving! I just don't…_I'm so lost_. Where do I go from here when I feel like I don't have anything left?"

Dick could tell by the way Wally had turned to look at him so desperately, that he was looking Dick to give him some kind of answer. He needed Dick to tell him something reassuring. The team always looked for him to have the answers these days, and usually he had one. This moment, this situation, was completely different, "…I ugh…I don't know Wally."

That wasn't the answer he was looking for and Dick knew it. It was obvious as Wally's face dropped to one of despair and submission.

"But I'll be here to help you get to wherever you decide," Dick assured him as he let several warm tears run down his cheeks, "We'll take it one step at a time alright? It'll get better, you'll see."

The speedster cracked a small, but hopeful smile as Dick wrapped an arm around either side of him, "You mean that?" he asked, returning the embrace.

Dick forced a slight grin through a sniffle, "Yeah Wally, I really do."

* * *

><p>hope u liked it :) plz review<p>

**n remember! if you did actually happen to listen to the song while u read it, id enjoy knowing how well you thought they fit together


	2. Chapter 2

**Jealousy **

wow, this is only the second shot ive posted since starting this :) it feels good. I couldn't get this idea out of my head after the new episode, which i loved, so i had to write it down. Enjoy, read and review plz

**SUMMARY**: Wally falls into a mild depression after meeting his cousin from the future. He can't help but keep thinking that Bart Allen is better than him in every way. Eventually Artemis has had enough and calls in the one person she thinks can turn things around.

* * *

><p>"<em>I don't know! He's been like this for days, ever since you called him; and he won't tell me what's going on! If you don't come down here and fix him I swear I'll come down there a-" <em>

"_A-Artemis, calm down. Just…Just calm down please. I'll handle it okay? I'll handle it." _

**WALLY**

I walk out into the living room of the apartment I share with Artemis. It's dark and empty, so I assume she's out working or maybe in a late class or visiting Ollie or somewhere. She probably mentioned something about it earlier and I probably wasn't listening. Not that I didn't want to. I just…I just haven't been able to focus on anything lately. That isn't a new thing for me, the way my mind works. I'm constantly processing things a mile a minute but-

_I bet his mind is faster. I bet he's way smarter than you are too. _

But thoughts like _that_ keep crashing into my brain and ruining my life. It's hard to think straight when your subconscious mind is constantly mocking you and trying to show you how much of a failure you really are. It makes it hard to concentrate on anything else.

I grab a few beers, some snacks, and flop down onto the couch. When I turn on the TV I'm careful to avoid any news channels. I don't want to see anything hero related ever again for the rest of my life. I don't care if I'm California and _he's_ all the way in Central. I don't want to see anything about any hero. They all probably know him by now and have been working with him anyway.

_Yeah, he's probably hanging out with your old friends right now too. _

Ugh! I just wish it would stop! Even when the twerp's not around, he's still managing to get on my last nerve. I finish off my first bottle and go to set it on the coffee table. Of course the table's already covered in an array of my trash. A pile of things like empty bottles, cartons, and pizza boxes is littering every inch of free space in front of the couch. I'll get to it eventually I guess.

_Eventually? That's pathetic. What kind of speedster gets to something eventually…oh, wait you're not really much of a speedster are you? _

No I am! I-

Wait? What the hell am I doing? I'm not about to have an argument with myself. It's stupid and pointless and it makes me sound crazy. I'm just going to lay here, finish my drink, finish my snacks, and then go back to bed. That's it.

I down a few more beers and watch some terrible crime show on channel twenty-three until there's a knock at my door. I don't know who it could be? I didn't invite anyone over and Artemis has a key soo…

"Go away! I'm not interested!" I shout without having to get up from the couch. The less effort I have to put into anything here lately, the better.

The persistent bastard knocks again, and then just _keeps_ knocking. Clearly whoever this is wants me to get up and give them a piece of my mind. I drag myself up off of the couch and open the door. I give the person in front of me a look over and then I slam it.

"Wally! Wally come on! I just want to talk to you!"

"I know," I yell, walking back to my seat. "_That's why I left you out there_."

Next thing I know, my door is creaking open and Dick Grayson is walking into my living room. I just huff and lean forward so that my elbows are on my knees. He looks normal enough, no Nightwing costume. I don't know if that makes this worse. If he dressed regular, that means he's coming to talk to me as my friend. "If you were planning on picking my lock the whole time, what was the point of knocking in the first place?"

"I wanted to see if you were actually going to let me in first." He has that classy, cocky smirk on his face. The one he uses to follow in Bruce's footsteps as a billionaire playboy. It would probably be charming, if I didn't want him anywhere near me or my apartment right now.

I roll my eyes and grab my current bottle, finishing the rest off and setting it on the floor. "What do you want Dick?"

He ignores my question completely, taking in the messy scene in front of him. "Really, beer?" he laughs, "Can you even get drunk with your metabolism?"

No, I wish. It provides a nice dramatic effect though. I just grit my teeth in irritation and try to keep calm, "Maybe I just like the way it tastes."

"You like the way it tastes? Yeah right Wally, when was the last time _you _actually tasted anything? News flash, beer tastes like cold piss. _Nobody_ likes the way it tastes."

"What are you, eighteen? How the hell would you kno-" I cut myself off before we can get into this. I know Dick and that's exactly what he wants. He's going to get me off subject and try to get me all comfortable by making jokes and shit. No. "What the hell do you want Dick?"

He shrugs nonchalantly and walks across my living room, right in front of my TV of course, "Maybe I just wanted to talk to you and catch up?"

I don't even entertain that little quip. We both know that's not true. "Talk and catch up? The only time you call me anymore is when you need something."

His eyes narrow and I can tell he's kind of insulted. So maybe it's a harsh thing to say, but I needed to say it. Just because I quit the hero game, didn't mean I quit being Dick's friend, but suddenly he didn't have as much time for me anymore. I'm not needy, I didn't expect him to devote all of his free time to me or anything…but geez, there are other things in life besides fighting crime and training new team members.

"Yeah, well the phone works both ways."

"I know. I used to use it all the time, remember? But I couldn't exactly force you to call me back or answer my texts."

There's sort of this standoff between us. I stare at him, he stares back at me. It's silent and awkward until finally he lets out an exasperated sigh and pushes his long hair back, out of his eyes. I resume lying on the couch and grab the remote while he huffs and puffs. "Look Wally, I didn't come over here to argue with you."

"Then what did you come over for?" I don't look away from the TV as I ask. I'm trying to emphasize the fact that I really want to be left alone.

_It's not like he actually wants to be around you anyway. I'm sure he loves hanging around Bart. _

"I came over because Artemis called me okay?"

I have to look at him suspiciously out of the corner of my eye, "Why would she do _that_?"

That signature smirk of his comes back to his face and he glances around the room. "Are you serious? Have you seen yourself or your living room in general? I've only been here five minutes and I know there's a problem. She says you've been lying on this couch like this for days, which is surprising because it used to be hard for you to sit for minutes, let alone days."

"Well, I've been out of the game for a while. I've had a lot of practice. Besides, it's my couch. If I want to lie on it for days at a time, I don't see what the problem is." Maybe if I can frustrate him enough he'll leave. Under any other circumstances, I would love to see Dick. Right now though, I'm not in the mood to see or talk to anybody. I know I haven't been that fun to be around lately. Hence, why Dick got that call from Artemis and why he's in my living room right now.

"Come on dude, don't be like this. This isn't you. Something is obviously wrong. What is it? I came over because I want to help you…but I can't do that if you don't tell me what's going on?"

He actually does look concerned, but I'm not going there. I turn my attention back towards my TV. "I don't want to talk about it."

He doesn't try to force me at first. I think this is it. He's just going to walk out here and leave me alone so I can go back to what I was doing. No. Instead, Dick just walks over to my TV and turns it off. Then he proceeds to stand there so that I can't turn it back on with the remote. I sit back up and throw the stupid remote into the armrest of the couch. "Dude what the he-"

"Oh, whatever. You weren't even watching anything."

I don't have to take this. So maybe he won't leave my place, but I can at least leave the room. I kick some trash to the side and stand up to walk away. I make it a step before Dick's hand is gripped around my bicep. I give him a harsh glare. "Get off me."

"No, neither of us is going anywhere until you tell m-"

"Let me go," I attempt to jerk my arm away, pretty violently I guess because my elbow ends up hitting him in the jaw. His hand immediately goes to his mouth while I walk into the kitchen. I grab an apple off of the table and turn back to see him following behind me and rubbing his jaw.

I can't pretend I don't feel like a jerk. It kills me, but I have to apologize. "_I'm sorry._"

_I doubt Bart's ever hit him in the mouth. I doubt he's hurt anybody. How many times have you hurt Dick? _

Oh my God! If this doesn't stop I'm going to go fucking crazy. He's better than me in every way! I know that! I don't need some stupid voice in the back of my head constantly telling me that.

"It's fine."

I still feel bad. Yeah, it was an accident but he still didn't deserve to get hit in the mouth. I'm not mad at him. I'm mad at…at that stupid kid. "Do…do you want some ice or something?"

He kind of shrugs it off and laughs. It isn't a genuine laugh though. It's mostly forced. "Don't worry about it KF. You never did hit that hard anyway."

"Ha fun-wait what? What did you call me?"

_You know what he called you. KF. __**Kid**__ Flash. You know…there's no 'Kid' in front of Bart's superhero name and you're damn near twenty-two years old. How old is he? Like fourteen, maybe? _

"I called you…" he has to think about it for a second, but then it clicks to him, "Oh I'm sorry. It must've slipped out."

I just shrug it off. If I make a big deal about it, he'll probably figure out what's going on and I don't want to go there. "It's okay…Look, I'm sorry you came all the way out here but I'm fine. Nothing's wrong. If Artemis wants me to clean up and stop laying on the couch then I'll clean up and stop laying on the couch. There, problem solved. I'll see you around."

I turn my back to him and go to throw out my apple core. I hope by the time I turn around he's walking out of the door, but of course not. He's still standing there with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans.

"What is it going to take for me to get you to leave?" I ask exasperatedly.

His eyebrows narrow and he almost looks hurt. "Why do you want me to leave to so badly? I mean yeah, I didn't answer some phone calls. I've been busy. So what, you hate me now? If I did something to you Wally just tell me."

He's about to try and give me the guilt trip and I know it. Dick knows me, and he knows I hate feeling guilty or like a bad friend. "No Dick, you didn't do anything. I just don't want to talk about it okay? It's not even…it's small. It's stupid."

Dick drops his head. I just try and look away so that when he finally does lift his head, I'm not looking him in his crazy blue eyes. I get trapped in those and he might actually get something out of me. Out of the corner of my eyes, I see him inhale and then finally look back up. "Wally, whatever it is, I know it's not stupid or small. You're trying to pretend that there's not something wrong but I've never seen you like this before. What happened?"

I stare down at the tiles on the floor and shrug.

_So now you're a liar? You know exactly what happened. You met somebody that was better than you and you couldn't handle it_.

"Artemis said you've been like this since I called you," he pauses. Great, now he's using his famous detective skills. "Did something happen in Central?"

Silence. I'm not going to answer. I won't give him anything. If he's going to figure this out, he can do it all by himself.

_You know he'll figure it out…and when he does, he's going to agree. Bart is a way better hero than you __**ever**__ were. _

I peek up and see him really thinking. The wheels are turning in his head and I know he's getting almost there. I wish he would've left when I asked him too. "Does this have something to do with that mission I asked you to go on?"

_He's getting closer…_

"Or with your Uncle and Bart?"

I flinch at the sound of his name and I know I've just given myself away. Dick doesn't miss things like that.

"That's it? It's Bart, isn't it?" He sounds so proud of himself it's almost sickening. "Did he say something to you or do something or act a certain way or-"

"No!" I finally burst out, just so he'll stop. "He didn't say or do anything. It was just…he's just so…I don't know. He's just himself."

_He's just himself. He doesn't even have to try to be better than you_.

Now Dick is confused again. He can't exactly tell what I mean. I guess I did give him a really vague answer. It's already bad enough that he figure out that the overall problem is Bart. I don't really want him to get any deeper than that.

"I-I don't-I don't understand. He didn't do anything to you? You just don't like the kid because he's…_himself_? That doesn't exactly seem fair."

"Yeah well the way he waltzed into our time and showed me up in every way possible isn't fair." I don't want to say it, but it just comes out and I can't take it back. I sound like a four year that just got in trouble. This is definitely not how I expected to spend my night at all.

It's quiet for a few seconds as Dick looks me up and down. He doesn't think I'm serious at first but I think he quickly sees that I am. "Ooohhh, so that's what this is about?"

I fold my arms across my chest and try not to seem fazed, "What?"

Dick has this smug look on his face, like one I would have if I was making fun of him. Hell, he probably picked it up from me at some point. "You're jealous of him, aren't you?"

I'm almost offended that he would accuse me of something so childish. I'm twenty-one years old, not thirteen. I'm not jealous of some stupid kid.

_Sure you're not_. _Why would you be? It's not like he's better than you in every sense of the word or anything._

"No. I'm not jealous of him, okay?" I roll my eyes and head back towards the living room. I'm done with this conversation. He's gotten enough out of me. He figured out the problem so now he can leave. I sit back down on the couch and wave my hand towards the door, "It's nothing, like I said. Now you can call Artemis back and tell her you figured out what was wrong. You can let yourself out right?"

He follows me out of the kitchen but doesn't continue to that door and he definitely doesn't leave. "I could, but I'm not going to."

Oh my God, he can't be serious! "Ugh! Dick what do you want from me?"

"I told you! I want to help you!"

"Well you can't okay? Unless you can somehow send this kid back to 2056 or make it so that he isn't better than me in every way possible, you can't help me!" I'm yelling. I don't mean to yell, but my anger just happens to get the best of me. Dick isn't fazed in anyway of course.

"Wally what are you talking about? Bart isn't _better_ than you."

"Oh really? He's not? Because last time I checked, I still can't vibrate through anything right or run as fast as Barry or stop on the drop of a dime and I've been a speedster for like ten years." I know I sound bitter and all but at the moment I don't care. Dick forced it out of me, so I might as well go ahead and vent while I have the chance.

"So he's a little more skilled than you are. I don't see why any of that even matters."

"Of course you don't, because it's not happening to you. I'm sure Tim looks up to you. He isn't a constant reminder of what a failure you truly are. I can't get the little jerk off my mind or out of my head. It's like he's mocking me. Bart Allen is everything I never was, everything I'm not right now, and everything I am never going to be. He's an Allen! He's even closer to Barry than I am. Do you know what that feels like?"

Dick is almost silent. He looks shocked by my outburst. He doesn't say anything. He's just looking at me.

"Well, do you?" I repeat.

He just shakes his head and shrugs, "No, no I don't know what that feels like."

"I didn't think so."

"But just because you _feel_ that way, doesn't make it true Wally." His face is sad and sympathetic. I almost don't want to look at it. "You're not a failure. So he's a little faster and maybe he knows a few more tricks, so what? That doesn't change anything. He hasn't accomplished half the things you did as KF. He isn't Central City's favorite sidekick or even Barry's sidekick at all for that matter. He's just some fast kid that showed up at The Cave. We don't even know him. We know you, Wally and nobody thinks he's better than you are. It's not like we're trying to replace you. Besides, how could we? You quit."

I look over at Dick, who I know it really trying to make me feel better. I just roll my eyes and can't help but smirk just a little, "I didn't _quit_. I _retired_."

Now Dick is smiling because he feels like he's accomplished something. He got me to lighten up a little and he's all happy about it. "Wipe that stupid look off your face bro. I'm still upset. I'm just, you know, _less_ upset."

His smile doesn't drop an inch. In fact it gets wider. "I'll take that. Whatever keeps Artemis from killing me…but really dude, Bart's a talented kid, sure; but he can't hold a candle to you as a person. Even if that doesn't mean anything to you, it means something to the rest of us."

My cheeks turn a little red with embarrassment. Compliments and encouragement always seem to have a way of doing that to people I guess. "Well thanks dude. I ugh…I appreciate that."

"It's no problem, really. I'm glad I could help and if you ever need to talk or anything you know you can call me right?" He makes his way towards my door finally. Ironically enough, now I really don't want him to leave. I stand up though, to get the door for him.

"I know I can call you…doesn't mean you're actually going to answer," I joke with him.

His cheeks flush red for a second and he lets out a short guilty laugh, "Yeah, I'll ugh…I'll try to work on that. Just call okay?"

"The phone works both ways." I open the door and Dick steps out, sticking his hands into his pockets.

"Yeah, yeah I get it," he smiles but then it drops into a slight frown. "One last thing?"

I shrug, "Sure. What is it?"

"He's not that bad of a kid Wally. Maybe a little impulsive and confused, reminds me of someone actually. He could use someone like you to look up to. I know it sounds weird and backwards but you were Kid Flash. Bart might actually surprise you."

The stupid voice in my head that's been trying to bring me down for days comes back and attempts to ruin my life again. It's hard but I force myself to ignore it this time. I'm not going to let it make me feel bad about myself all over again.

I smile and give a slight nod, "I won't promise you anything, but I won't write him off completely okay?"

Dick smirks one last time before leaving, "That's all I'm asking."

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><p>well, i hope u guys enjoyed :) plz leave a review!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Mistakes**

Wooh! three stories! i'm so proud of myself lol this was just one story for the longest time. I'm glad i'm actually making some progress haha! well i hope u enjoy :)

**Summary**: Dick knows he messed up and all he wants is to go wallow in his own guilt. It's better than being around Wally, who probably hates his guts anyway. Sometimes it takes the intrusion of an old friend to give you a push and help you out.

i do not own young justice

**oh n btw, for this fic let's just go ahead n pretend Artemis_ is_ dead. thanks :)

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><p>Dick undid the sloppy knot of his solid black tie and threw the limp piece of fabric to the floor. Despite tying it himself and making it as loose as he possibly could without earning disapproving looks from Alfred, it still felt like it had been choking the life slowly out of him the entire day. He knew it wasn't actually the tie that was making him feel that way…more like the overwhelming guilt and shame he felt, but he blamed it on the tie instead as he stood in the back of her funeral just a few hours ago.<p>

_Or as he tried to stand in the back at least._ Somehow despite protests he kept finding himself in the front with the rest of the former team members…minus Kaldur of course. He had barely wanted to attend the event in the first place, but Bruce had made him, threatening to make him take a vacation from his work on The Team if he didn't.

It's not that he didn't want to go and give his condolences to Mrs. Crock or Jade or the rest of her family. He just couldn't handle going up there and saying he was sorry and crying when he knew he'd caused this in the first place. Wally, his _best_ friend - probably former best friend now- had begged him not to call her. Anybody but her. Why not call Roy? Why did you even need an archer on the mission in the first place? Why did it have to be Artemis?

Dick had insisted it would be fine. He promised to keep her safe and that nothing would happen to her, he'd make sure of it. He lied obviously, at least that's how Wally saw it because now Artemis was lying six feet underground dead; and here was Dick, alive, breathing, and not a scratch on him. The circumstances hardly seemed fair. If the tables were turned Wally would do everything in his power to save someone Dick cared about. A year or two ago, Wally would've given his life to make sure Zatanna made it back to the former acrobat. _If only Dick had that kind of drive…_

After he removes his tie, he unbuttons his equally suffocating suit jacket. He would throw it on the floor too, but he can only imagine what Alfred would say if he saw him treating a fifteen hundred dollar jacket around like a cheap rag. Instead, he goes to toss the garment to his bed.

The watch comes off next. Other than the '_watch_' he wears on missions, he's never really been a watch fan. He wouldn't be wearing one now, but Bruce always insisted he wear a watch, a _regular_ watch, for formal occasions. Something about professionalism, but Dick didn't really care. He's a vigilante, not a CEO of Wayne Enterprises. Outside of the occasional banquet or fundraiser, professionalism wasn't exactly what he was known for. His job was to act as the teenage ward of billionaire Bruce Wayne. His age tended to give him certain leniencies.

Dick sets the white gold contraption down on his nightstand and of course it has to be right next to the pictures of him and his friends. There's the picture that he took of him and Artemis on her first day. Next to that is one of him, Wally, Artemis, and Zatanna all hanging out together at the beach next to The Cave. They all look so happy then. Funny how things change, isn't it? He and Zatanna haven't been together for almost a year, Wally hates him he's sure and Artemis is dead.

Never mind…_guess it really isn't that funny after all_.

Dick lays the pictures down so that he doesn't have to look at them anymore. It's depressing and all it does is bring back a bunch of memories he'd rather forget anyway.

He unbuttons his shirt and finally his pants before grabbing a towel from his linen closet. Hopefully a shower will relax him and maybe even clear his clouded mind for a little while; but it only makes things worse. For some reason he can't seem to get Wally's eulogy out of his mind. The sight of his best friend in front of the casket just losing it will be burned into his retinas for as long as he lives and then some.

"_It may even be hard to believe, but Artemis was so vibrant and lively. I don't know…I just wasn't expecting this. Maybe I took life for granted or maybe I was young and naive…I just…I just didn't think it could happen to her. I-I loved her. She was everything I could ever want. She was perfect…and I guess when she said forever, I really thought she meant forever. I wasn't ready for her to leave me." _

Replaying bits and pieces of the speech in his head only makes Dick's stomach turn. At one point he gets so dizzy he has to sit down against the wall of the shower and take deep breaths to regain his composure. He used to feel like this sometimes after the death of his parents. He remembers trying to clear his head in the shower back then. Come to think of it, showers only made things worse then too.

After washing his hair more times than necessarily recommended, the water finally turns cold, pretty much forcing Dick to get out and go face the real world again. He grabs his towel, taking his sweet time drying off. It's not like he has anywhere to be. He skipped both the reception and burial after the funeral. His only plans are to get into his pajamas early and maybe sleep or just watch TV for the rest of the day. Both are things he hasn't done since he was in high school and now seems like as good a time as any to give them a shot.

Once he's dry, he throws on a pair of baggy gray sweats and a plain black cotton t-shirt. The looser the better right now, he'd rather not put on anything that could possibly give the illusion of being smothered all over again.

Dick flips the light switch to off. The he slowly crawls into his king sized bed, pulls the covers up to his neck, and then curls up into himself. He resembles something like a scared child hiding in his bed during a storm. The only time he moves in the next hour is to use the remote to turn on the TV. He hasn't sat down to watch it in so long, he hardly recognizes a single show that's on. Finally the teen settles on a History Channel special because it's probably the only thing on that isn't going to slowly rot his brain to a soft mush as he watches it.

The next time he moves is when he hears the sound of a soft knocking at his door. Not feeling very social, he ignores it. It's more than likely just Alfred coming by with some food for the millionth time in days, because honestly, Dick hasn't eaten a real meal since it happened. When the knocking happens again, he turns the volume up on his TV program. When it occurs a third time, louder and more forceful, he sits up and yells towards the door. "Thanks, but whatever it is Alfred, I'm not really hungry okay?"

One of the wooden double doors creaks open anyway, only Alfred isn't walking in this time. "He knows that, but I don't think he cared much."

Dick is too busy wondering what the hell _she's_ doing here to answer the question. She's still in the same long sleeve black dress and heels he saw her in at the service. He can't seem to decide whether to be angry or indifferent at the moment, or maybe even intrigued. It's been a while since Zatanna dropped by unannounced, maybe this could be interesting?

"It's dark in here," she states before walking over to Dick's bed and setting the tray Alfred sent up with her down in front of him, "It might be hard for you to see while you eat."

Dick is still pretty awestruck by her sudden appearance in his room. Not only that; but the way she's walking around so casually, like she used too back when they were an item, is pretty whelming. She's not even bothering to be chalant about the whole thing. You would think she never stopped coming by or that they were still dating, especially when she kicks off her shoes by the side of Dick's bed and crawls into it, sitting cross legged facing him, but off to his side.

The dark haired beauty points towards the tray and waves her hand, "Go ahead. Alfred told me to make sure you eat at least half of this. Tells me you haven't really eaten in days, which isn't surprising because you look like it. Have you been sleeping, because even in the dark I can see the purple bags under your eyes. They don-"

As much as he would love to just sit there and listen to sound of her sensual voice as she talks, which he used to be able to do for hours, he has to cut her off. She's trying to distract him. "Zatanna what the hell are you doing here?"

She raises an eyebrow and cocks her head to the side, but doesn't say anything. She doesn't have to. After so much time with Dick, she eventually learned to communicate whole conversations without actually talking.

"Don't get me wrong, it's nice to see you; but shouldn't you be at the reception or something?"

She casually smirks and tilts one of her eyebrows. "Your dad sponsored the entire funeral and reception, shouldn't you?"

He'd love to counter with something witty or obnoxious, but it's not really in him right now. Instead he just sighs and watches Zatanna as she gracefully slides a chip off of his plate before popping it into her mouth.

"I noticed you leave," she admits, brushing a curled, dark lock, from out of her range of vision, "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"You could've called."

"You could've just stayed," she counters back.

He narrows his eyes slightly, but not in a way that can be perceived as threatening. "I didn't feel like staying."

She just shrugs with an indifferent smile on her face, "I didn't feel like calling."

Dick considers pointing out the fact that calling is easier than actually showing up at his house and that if she didn't feel like doing the former, she definitely shouldn't have felt up to doing the latter. He refrains instead, knowing she'll just have some sort or equally confusing yet ingenious comeback. Hell, its things like that that attracted him to the girl in the first place. Well _that_, and her obvious old Hollywood good looks, but that too.

While he just stares at her blankly, she stretches her legs out in front of her so that her feet are somewhere near Dick's pillows. Then she leans back on her hands. "_Dick_…" she starts.

His eyebrows raise up at the sound of his name and he waits for her to continue.

"You should really eat something."

"And you should really tell me what you're doing here." She's been here at least ten or fifteen minutes already and he still has no idea why she came in the first place. All she's managed to do it distract him from what he was doing, which was trying to be left alone to forget about everything for the rest of the day.

"Only if you eat so-"

Dick stares down at the tray that's been sitting in front of him. It's a simple enough meal: chips, a small Caesar salad, and a wrap. He assumes it's something plain like chicken and lettuce. It's nothing that should have his stomach turning later on. Then again it's not _what_ he eats that's the problem. It's the overwhelming guilt that's been plaguing him since he sent Artemis to her death that's the problem.

Regardless of the fact that he isn't interested, he takes one half of the wrap in his hand and chokes down a bite just to appease her. Maybe if he gets half down, she'll leave and he can go back to curling up in front of the TV.

"Okay, now spill. Why'd you come, especially when I know you have somewhere else to be?"

Zatanna looks down at her knees as she begins to nervously rub her feet back and forth against each other, "I came to see if you were okay and try to help you feel a little better about everything."

"You came to check on me and help me?" he asks, almost skeptically. "Why? That's nice, but maybe you should just go back to reception. Go do something for Artemis. Help her out by consoling her family or som-"

"_Artemis is dead Dick_. There is nothing I could do that could ever possibly _help_ her. But you're here and clearly you're in need of some help. I can help you; that's why I came."

"Well I appreciate the gesture but I…I um…"

"You what?" she states, mostly just to mock him. "You don't even have a good excuse so just drop it. Eat your food and talk to me."

"Eat my food and talk to you? What kind of approach to help is that?" even though he's questioning her, something compels him to try taking another bite anyway.

"The only approach you're going to understand. I can't exactly beat around the bush with you Dick. You have this way of shutting people. It's not direct. You won't just recluse yourself completely or anything. You'll take responsibility for your actions. You'll show up to places you're needed, like the funeral. You play the parts you're supposed to. You've always been really good at that, playing parts. But that's all they are. They're parts. They're not who you really are. They're just some stupid wall you put up to keep people from ever truly connecting with you or finding out who you really are.

You put them there to keep people from learning about Dick Grayson, former circus prodigy, who I know still has nightmares to this day about his parents and sometimes when he's really feeling low, regrets not being out there with them. To keep them from meeting the confused kid who was so unsure of himself and his own abilities at times, he went out and created his own persona away from Batman. How you could ever be unsure of who you are, but still have the confidence to go out and make name for yourself all at the same time is beyond me.

I know that's why you left early today. You didn't want face everyone and risk them all seeing you for who you really are, right? You didn't want them to see Dick Grayson, the overstressed, not so fearless leader of a team of scared, unguided, juveniles? The guy who's trying to make the right decision concerning the lives and well beings of a bunch of confused kids when he's really only a kid himself? Dick Grayson, who sometimes makes mistakes, mistakes that get the people he loves hurt even though he spends all of his time trying to be so damn perfect?"

At some point during the whole monologue, Dick honestly regrets ever being so close to Zatanna. She knows him so well, it's almost disturbing. The more she goes on, the less he wants to listen. Nobody wants to hear about their flaws after they're spent so much time trying to hard them for the sake of a group. He just keeps his head low and his eyes facing down, tracing the wrinkles of his sheets.

"I know you're upset Dick. I know you feel bad and you're probably beating yourself up about this, but you need to stop. It was a mistake. People make mistakes. You're only human. I think you forget that sometimes."

"My _mistake_ cost Artemis her life. It costs Paula Crock a daughter. It cost…it cost my best friend the only girl he's ever loved."

"It seems bad now, but wounds heal, Dick. It'll be okay…I-I made a mistake once. I made a mistake that cost me everything. I cost somewhere their life. I lost the person closest to me in the entire world. I blamed myself for what happened to my dad for years, I _still_ do sometimes, but I know that he wouldn't blame me for what happened."

It's only after she takes a break to try and compose herself a little that Dick looks up at her. There's a glassy look to her eyes, like she's holding back tears and he knows she probably is. Talking about her dad will never get any easier for her. She knew it would get emotional, but she brought it up anyway to make a point to him. Dick sighs, as much as he doesn't want to, he gets it.

Suddenly he feels guilty all over again. Because of him, she's upset over her dad now when she should be out at the reception, celebrating Artemis' life or whatever they're doing. In an effort to comfort her even just a little, Dick takes his hand and lays it atop one of her legs. She glances down at his hand and then up at him. He gives her a slight, yet reassuring, smile.

He feels a little better when she laughs nonchalantly, "Look at that. I came over here to help you and you're helping me."

"Let's say we helped each other," he offers kindly.

"I don't know. If I was to walk out of here right now would you actually stop blaming yourself or would you just go back to what you were doing before I got here?"

He opens his mouth to counter that he's fine now and everything will be okay, but he can't. Sure, seeing Zatanna has cleared his mind for a little while; but once she leaves it'll be like she was never even here.

She cocks her head to the side and aims her sight right for Dick's eyes. "What's _really_ bothering you Dick? I know you're upset about Artemis and asking her to go on that mission, but that's not it. That isn't enough to send you up here to hide from everyone…"

The minute she brings up hiding, he's compelled to break their eye contact and shift his eyes anywhere else in the room. Zatanna may not be as skilled a detective, or even half as perceptive as Dick, but she notices that much.

"But you're not hiding from _everyone_, are you?" she offers, as gently and unthreatening as she possibly can. She doesn't want to come off too forceful and keep him from opening up to her.

He lets out a sigh and stares down at the tray that's still sitting in front of him while she waits. In all honestly, the amount he's eaten is pretty pathetic, but it's more than he's eaten in days. It's not like he hasn't been hungry from time to time it's just…something about food now just reminds him of Wally, who reminds him Artemis, who he got killed on a mission, even though Wally begged him not to send her, and he sent her anyway.

He let his selfish wants trump his relationship with his best friend and now look. While he still has more than he could ever want, the one thing Wally really cared about has been ripped from his hands permanently. It's sick and twisted and just not fair.

"Wally," Dick finally admits, "I left because I was hiding from Wally. I wasn't even going to go to the funeral but Bruce made me."

It makes a little more sense to Zatanna now. She knew Dick felt guilty, everyone knew. He'd have to be a soulless sociopath not to feel bad for what happened to Artemis. It isn't just the guilt of her death that's got him up here avoiding everyone; it's the fact that he took something from Wally that he can never give him back.

"Wally trusted me," Dick continues, "I-I told him that nothing was going to happen. I promised I would bring her back, and I guess I did, if brining back her cold lifeless body counts for something."

"Dick I'm sure you tried to protect her. How could you have known something like this was going to happen?"

"There's always a chance," he states, "I should've never even asked her to come. I knew what I was doing when I asked her. I was playing around and being manipulative. I didn't run it by Wally first, because he's my best friend. I know him. I knew he would say no. I asked Artemis because I knew she'd say yes."

Trying to convince Dick that this isn't his fault is useless. As leader of The Team, Zatanna knows that he'd always take responsibility for anything bad that happened. That's not the kind of approach she could take with Dick. Instead she decides to try something else. Maybe she can't take the guilt away but she can at least try to pacify it some.

"Did you talk to Wally today?"

"I haven't talked to him since I showed up at his apartment to tell him."

"Did he blame you then?"

Dick lifts his head slightly and gives Zatanna a sort of '_get real_' look, "He punched me in the face."

"Did you apologize?"

"I tried to," Dick admits, "But all he wanted was for me to leave, so after a while I left. I think he hates me and probably never wants to see my face again. He didn't even glance my way today."

Zatanna sighs and this time she takes her hand and places it on Dick's leg comfortingly. "He doesn't hate you Dick. You guys are too close for that. He's upset, and rightfully so…but him being mad at you and you hiding from him isn't going to bring Artemis back. You know that. He knows that. Try again. So he didn't want to listen to you the first time, do you blame him? Keep apologizing until he comes around. I know you're afraid that he'll be mad or he'll reject you and maybe he will. Eventually though, he'll forgive you and he'll be glad that you kept trying."

"Yeah or he'll hate me forever and I'll spend the rest of my life begging for forgiveness that I'll never ever get."

"Yeah maybe…but you have to remember who you're asking. If this was anyone else, I might agree with you. It's not though. It's Wally. Do you think he'd do that? You really think Wally's even capable of hating you forever?"

Dick doesn't answer. He knows she's right. Maybe he's just overreacting. Of course Wally would forgive him if he asked, at least he would eventually. It's just that he's afraid to ask. He'll still feel bad long after Wally's forgiven him. That'll be worse than how he feels now. At least now he can come up here alone, wallow in his guilt, and pretend to hide from Wally. What will pretend to hide from when he doesn't have that anymore?

"I don't know…I guess I could try," he offers finally after thinking it over. He'd rather have Wally's forgiveness than avoid him for who knows how long. He doesn't want the next time Wally sees him willingly to be at his own funeral. As he learned recently, especially in his line of work, life is just too short.

"Maybe you could come back to the reception?"

Dick shakes his head, "No, I already left. I can't go back."

Zatanna considers protesting but doesn't. She's made some type of progress, no point in ruining that. "Well, you could at least call him then."

He doesn't really like that idea much either, but he has to do something. That's probably going to be his best option."Right now? But he's still at-"

"Why not? He's always going to be busy. You'll have to do it eventually," her tone is a little forceful at first and she realizes that. The next time she speaks, she softens up, "If you're nervous, I'll stick around for a little bit longer."

The smile he gives her is innocent and genuine. It reminds the magician of when they started dating and used to confide things with each other. "I would like that."

She nods, before moving the tray in front of Dick to the floor. He was done with that meal before he even started and they both know it. She set her phone on the nightstand by her shoes, so she grabs that while she's up and holds it in her hand as she crawls back onto the bed. This time she sits directly beside him so that their shoulders are touching each other.

Dick pretends to smile as Zatanna hands him his phone, but honestly he'd terrified half to death at the moment. The last time he was this scared was when he was standing in front of Wally's door getting ready to tell him that his girlfriend had passed. God he hopes the next time he's this scared it has nothing to do with Wally or anyone else he cares about.

He pulls up the contact in the phone, despite knowing the number by heart, and just stares at it. Dick's not sure what it is, but something is just keeping him from pressing the 'Send' button. His heart is beating twice as hard against his chest. His hands are shaking and he feels like at any moment he could just throw up. What would come up, he's not exactly sure though.

It isn't until Zatanna's hand is reaching across her lap and holding his arm that he settles down a little. She nudges him, as if to say 'go ahead'. He holds his breath, presses the button and pulls the phone up to his ear. He almost vomits when he hears the click of a phone being answered.

"_Hello?_" Wally sounds more composed than earlier, but confused somehow.

Dick chokes at the sound of his voice, and suddenly he has no idea what to say. He doesn't say anything at all.

"_Hello?_"

Zatanna tightens the grip on his arm just to show him she's still there. She hopes the gesture will encourage him to talk.

"Wally?"

"_Dick?_" That's clearly not who he was expecting to hear; and why should he? It is Zatanna's phone he's using.

"Wally I'm sorry!" he suddenly bursts out, which is immediately followed by a wave of overwhelming tears. Instantly Zatanna is grabbing her distraught ex, wrapping both arms around his torso and holding him close as he cries onto her shoulder. He still has the phone to his ear and he's trying to heave out more words, "I didn't think-I didn't know! I-I'm just so sorry."

It's silent on the other end and all that can be heard is the sound of Dick trying to catch his breath as he sobs into Zatanna's shoulder.

Finally Wally sighs. He doesn't sound mad when he speaks or upset. He just sounds calm and relieved, like he's been waiting for this. "I know…I-I know Dick."

"Wally I-"

"Look I have to have to go," he says, cutting his friend off. It isn't mean when or evasive. It sounds genuine. "But I want to talk…later though, alright?"

Before the teen can reply, the conversation's already over. He didn't have anything else to say anyway. He's just glad he got that out. He feels so much better now, it's almost unreal. The guilt is still there; but it feels good to hear Wally not sound like he hates him anymore.

Slowly he drops the phone to the bed, but he doesn't take his head off of Zatanna's shoulder. She tries to move her hands from around him, not wanting to take total advantage at the moment, but Dick stops her. She might not want to take advantage, but he does. Maybe it's selfish? He just doesn't want to be alone right now.

"What did he say?" she asks after a few speechless moments.

Dick exhales, trying to regain at least an ounce of his dignity and composure before he talks, "He said he wanted to talk."

"Well that's good. Do you feel better? You know, even just a little?"

He nods into her. He doesn't care that he probably looks incredibly weak and vulnerable right now. That's the last thing on his mind. "_So much_."

She knows he can't see her, but she still smiles. She's happy that even now, she still knows him well enough to help him out.

"You want to try and eat again?" she asks finally, remembering the promise she made to Alfred and trying to get his mind onto something else for a moment. It's a long shot but he needs to eat and calm down.

Dick doesn't speak, just shakes his head.

"Okay…you just want me to stay here like this then?"

Silently, Dick nods. Honestly he never wants her to leave, but he doesn't say that. An admission like that might be a little much for both of them to handle right now. It's not that he wants to get back together, it's just that something about Zatanna in this moment is comforting; and after everything that's happened, he really needs comforting.

"Zatanna," he says after he doesn't know how long. It's long enough that his tears have stopped and he can breathe normally again, "I wouldn't have…I wouldn't have done that by myself. I-I guess…I don't know…I just…"

"You're welcome," she smiles in the middle of his sentence because, well he wasn't getting anywhere anyway.

"Wha-"

She repeats herself, "You're welcome."

He stutters at first, confused and wanting to ask her how she knew what he was going to say. Instead he just takes in a deep breath and then exhales. It doesn't matter _how_ she knew. Her knowing is enough.

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><p>Well, i hope you guys enjoyed :) plz leave a review<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

**I Fell in Love Once**

**(by Chase Coy)**

hey! another story :) a song fic actually, to another one of my favorite songs. "I feel in love once" by chase coy! Yay!

**Summary: **Dick cheats on Zatanna, and she finds the act unforgivable. She leaves him and moves on, only to have him come by asking for a favor months later

hope u enjoy n plz review :) I dont own this song or young justice

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><p><strong>I fell in love once before<strong>

**Now I won't be falling for that anymore**

**Somewhere in your basement I think I misplaced my heart**

**What did I do that for? **

"Are you sure you have to do this? Come on Zee, this just seems a little drastic don't you think?" The hand on her hip is meant to be familiar and even a little persuasive. Honestly it's just unwanted; at least she thinks it is. She isn't sure. All she knows is that this is the right choice.

She pushes his hand from her side and continues to calmly fold her shirts and stick them in her suitcase. Of course she wants to get out of there as soon as possible, but there is no way in hell she is going to wrinkle up her shirts by shoving them recklessly into the bag. "I don't know. Maybe…but sleeping with Barbara while I was out with Artemis seems a little drastic, don't _you_ think?"

"I…I," he stutters before letting out a defeated sigh. No matter what he says, he is not ever going to live that down and he knows it. He's been trying to make up for it for all day with gifts, apologies, promises, but apparently nothing he's done is good enough to make her stay. She'd rather go sleep on Wally and Artemis' couch than stay in their condo and try and work things out with him.

He sits down on the edge of the bed and just watches her get ready to leave because he single handedly ruined a five year relationship with one terrible mistake. "Zatanna I'm sorry. Don't leave. Come on please. I don't know what else you want me to say."

"I don't want you to say anything Dick. I just want to pack my things and get as far away from you as possible."

"Wh-why?"

She gives him a sideways glance. He can't honestly be serious. "Do you really want me to answer that?"

No he doesn't. He knows what she's going to say. How could he not? She won't let him forget it. "Zee-"

"Stop calling me that okay? If you really feel the need to address me, call me Zatanna. I don't ever want to hear that nickname come out of your lying, cheating mouth ever again." The glare she shoots Dick definitely surprises him. He's never seen her look this upset or angry before. Then again, he's never done anything this bad before.

He rests his chin on his palm and stares down at the carpet on the floor. As much as he would love to look her in the eyes, something tells him he isn't going to like the look she gives him back, "Ze-Zatanna, you can't do this. We've been together for five years. Doesn't that mean anything to you?" He's reaching and he knows it. At this point though, he's willing to say, do or try anything.

"Don't even go there. You and I both know how much this relationship means to me," by the tone of her voice, Dick knows he's definitely said the wrong thing. It was worth a shot though. "I wasn't the one who went and ruined everything, was I? I can't believe you would even ask me that…Ugh, I don't even know why I fell for you in the first place!"

**I don't want to see you**

**I don't want to hear your sweet voice**

**No, I don't want to talk anymore**

She zips her bag and lifts it up off the bed. The faster she gets out of here at this point, the better. If she sticks around for any more time, she might just lose it and she doesn't want to do that. She's already having a hard enough time keeping her composure as it is.

Honestly, she has no intention of even saying goodbye as she heads for the door but of course Dick just refuses to make this easy on either of them for some reason. He can't just back off and let her walk out peacefully. Instead, he has to follow her down the hallway repeatedly calling her name, but Zatanna has no intention of stopping. Finally he just takes hold of her arm and makes her stop himself. "Come on Zatanna, would you just wait and talk to me?"

To his surprise, the magician turns around with a swiftness that almost rivals Wally's. He can't even register what's happening until after it's happened. Now suddenly, instead of holding her arm, his hand is being drawn to the side of his face. Did she just hit him?

"I don't want to sit and talk to you Dick. I don't care what you have to say. Nothing you say can change what you did okay? Just get that through your head and leave me alone!"

**So if you happen to find it,**

**I'd be much obliged if**

**You dropped it off at my front door **

"You don't mean that." The look on his face is dry and serious. This is it. If he doesn't stop her from walking out now, it'll be damn near impossible to ever get her to come back. Zatanna's always been good at making up her mind and sticking to it. Before now, it used to be something he loved about her. "You don't want to leave. I know you don't. You still love me."

Her hands fly up almost immediately. She doesn't even notice when her suitcase crashes violently to the floor. It'll probably scratch up the hardwood, but with the ridiculous amounts of money Dick has access too, who cares? It's a wonder she didn't just trash the whole damn place when she found out anyway.

"Of course I still love you, but that doesn't mean I'm okay with you cheating on me! How would you feel if you found out I was having sex with Wally? You'd probably kill us both."

Yeah he definitely would. He couldn't even begin to describe how infuriated he would be with the two of them if that ever happened. "Zatanna I'm sorry!"

"No you're not! You're just saying that because you think it's what I want to hear. I don't want your stupid, empty apologies. You can't fix this Dick. The only thing you can do for me is leave me alone!"

**And don't leave a note**

'**Cuz I swear if you wrote me**

**I'd probably take it all back**

That definitely stings. It's like Dick ever thought he'd hear Zatanna say something like that to him and be so dead serious about it. God, he's messed up. She's seriously about to leave and there is nothing he can do about it. "Leave you alone?" he repeats softly, sounding almost devastated by the request.

"Yes, please." Her voice is desperate. She's practically begging, which only hurts Dick even more, "I need some space and some time away from you Dick. I need some time to think."

**And God only knows**

**I must stay on my toes**

'**Cuz I can't allow myself to do that**

The way she says that last line almost gives him hope. Time to think? That's a good thing right? That means she can change her mind about this and come home. "So there's a chance y-you'll come back then?"

The hopeful undertone in his voice is almost pathetic…no, it _is_ pathetic. Does he not get it? She's not coming back. Her pride won't let her. Who gives a shit if he's Dick Grayson, ward of billionaire Bruce Wayne and bound to inherit more money than he will ever know what to do with? Who cares if he can take care of her and make sure she'll never have to worry about needing anything for the rest of her life? Who cares if both their names are on this stupid fucking lease? He can have the condo. It's not like she helps pay rent anyway. Screw the material things.

What about the face that she loves him unconditionally, and has for the last five years? Who cared about that? He didn't. If he had, he wouldn't have slept with their team mate and they'd probably be laying bed together right now.

"I wouldn't hold your breath," she spits out, leaning down to grab her bag. Of course it hurts to leave. She loves Dick more than she does herself, but that's also the problem. Why does she have so much invested in this and he doesn't? She'd be an idiot to come back now. He hasn't learned anything. If she comes back now he won't change.

**I always wanted you stay**

**But now I'm wishing you away **

**If this is what love feels like,**

**I'm done with it **

Zatanna walks out of the building, making sure to not even glance Dick's way as she does. She doesn't want to see the heartbroken look that he is going to have plastered all over his face. It might just be enough to keep her there and actually talk to him. God knows if she sits there and lets him talk, he'll definitely be able to talk his way out of this.

It's not happening. She can't just overlook what he did. He cheated on her. He laid in their bed and had sex with Barbara Gordon, _Batgirl_. It couldn't even be some random girl off the street she wouldn't ever see again. And damn it, he wasn't even drunk. It's like he didn't even think about her before it happened.

What kind of relationship is that? You think five years together would mean something to him? It's like she just wasted to a third of her life on someone who doesn't even deserve it. The worst part is, she still loves him. Zatanna knows if she was to stick around, even just tonight, she'd be ready to forgive him by morning. She almost forgave him after the first apology, then again after he apologized for the third time, then again after the roses. He has no idea how hard it was for her to pack this bag and actually walk out of there.

She never wants to feel like this again she decides walking in the direction of the zeta tubes. It's something like desperation mixed with heartache and longing. It's hard to put into words but it's disgusting and all it does it hurt. If anything, she needs to take a break for a while and get her mind off of all of this. She wants to forget about Dick and move on. She'll get her own place and let her heart mend itself slowly but surely. For right now, she just needs to be single.

**I fell in love once before**

**Now I won't be falling for that anymore**

**You'd whisper to me **

**And we'd watch some TV**

**As we laid on your living room floor **

It's been almost eight months since Zatanna left Dick and to be on her own, she's doing pretty well. She's got her own apartment, been doing well on missions, and was even asked to join The Justice League a few months back. Of course she obliged, why not? It's like there was really anything holding her to The Team anymore anyway.

Essentially, everything has been perfect. She can even stand to look at Dick now. Occasionally they even exchange a few words. It's never any long conversations, just a few sentences in passing. It's just enough. As far as she's concerned, what they have going is good. So of course she doesn't expect it when he asks her out to dinner on a cold day in the beginning of March.

At first, all Zatanna wants to do is object. She has no idea what the hell this dinner is about and frankly, she doesn't want to know. The only reason she says yes is to avoid looking like a total bitch. She doesn't want to look like she's completely bitter or holding a grudge or anything. What if he's trying to make some sort of peace offering? Naturally he wouldn't tell her in advance because he's Dick and that's just how he operates.

When she shows up at the restaurant that night, memories of times spent there with Dick immediately flood her mind. This was one of their favorite spots. She honestly can't begin to count the number of times they went there over the years. It would be nostalgic and maybe even romantic, if the gesture wasn't exactly pissing her off. There was a reason he brought her here of all places. What the hell did he want?

"Brings back memories doesn't it?" That's what he says to her when she sits down. Of all the ways to greet her, that's what he starts with.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"You guess so? _Ouch_. I remember having some great times here. Was I wrong?" He flashes a playful smile to show he's kidding and damn is it attractive. It's been so long since he actually smiled at her, and it wasn't awkward, she's forgotten how good it feels to have him look at her like that.

Politely, Zatanna smiles back because it seems appropriate. "No. We did. I used to love coming here…I just guess it's a little weird now."

Dick frowns, knowing that's completely his fault. Maybe bringing her here wasn't the best idea he's ever had, but he was hoping it would help his cause. Instead, it's just made the entire thing awkward. Now they're just sitting there trying not to look at each other in complete silence. That is so not what he intended.

Finally Zatanna sighs, breaking the silence, "So, why exactly did you ask me to come here?"

"I ugh…I need a favor," he admits, much to his chagrin. Saying it out loud makes him feel like an ass hole. After everything he's done to her, he really expects her to want to help him out. He's lucky she's been civil to him at all in the last few months.

She narrows her eyes and stares at him across the table, "You're not serious?"

Dick looks up at her, practically begging with his eyes. He's willing to gravel on his knees for this if he has too. "I'm dead serious."

**I don't want to see you**

**I don't want to hear your sweet voice**

**No, I don't want to talk anymore**

She already knows she doesn't want to do it, but if he brought her all the way here to ask her, it must be good right? Zatanna can't say she's not curious. "What is it?"

"I need you make something for me. I don't know what to call it. But I need a way to change someone's appearance, only on the outside though…and I need it to fool everyone but a maybe three or four people."

"Wow, that's ugh, really specific," she states, raising an eyebrow, "What is it for?"

"I can't tell you."

"Then I can't do it," she says, standing up from the table. He really couldn't have expected her to actually stick around could he? The fact that he wanted to meet her there of all places is awkward enough. Now he wants her to help him out, but she can't know why? What the hell?

"Zatanna, wait," he's up and reaching across the table, grabbing her wrist. The scene is all too familiar to him. This time though, he isn't going to let her leave. He can't lose her twice in a row. "I would tell you…I just can't. It's nothing against you. It's for a job."

**So if you happen to think of me**

**Don't think that I will be**

**Waiting around like before **

She glares at him and immediately he removes his hand from her wrist. So perhaps that also wasn't the smartest move, but he had to stop her somehow. She would've walked right out of the restaurant if he hadn't. "Look I know it's a lot to ask considering…what happened between us."

"Considering what you did to us," she corrects him.

He gives in because right now, he has to. He needs her. "_Considering what I did_, but I knew you were the only person who could do this."

She just rolls her eyes, "And what made you think I _would_ do it."

"I was hoping you would do it because I asked you to…_as a friend_."

**And don't call my phone **

'**Cuz I'm feeling alone**

**And I'd probably take it all back**

The last thing she wants to do is give in, but _ugh!_ He keeps looking at her with those deep blue eyes that are practically begging her for her help. Not helping would be like staring at a cold puppy sitting outside alone and letting it freeze to death.

She hates knowing that even after all this time, he can still melt her with a stupid look. It's almost irritating. Just that alone makes her want to walk away and say no just to prove to herself that she can…however, for some reason she just can't. She's never been one to turn her back on a friend, especially when they need her. Obviously if Dick asked her to come here and then had the nerve to ask her for a mysterious favor all after cheating on her, he must really _need_ her.

Reluctantly Zatanna sits back down, but she makes sure to look irritated as she does is, "_Fine_. I think I know a glamour charm that can do everything you're looking for."

**And God only knows **

**I must stay on my toes**

'**Cuz I can't allow myself to do that**

Dick nods absentmindedly as she explains what the charm will entail. Being that he's not a magician, he has no idea what she's talking about but he tries not to let on. He'd rather her think he's listening than know what he's actually doing. If she knew that he was too busy admiring her to try and understand her explanation, she might get up and leave all over again.

"So…," she finally says, snapping him out of it, "I should have it for you in a few days. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, yeah that's fine. I've got a little time."

"Alright, I'll get it to you as soon as I'm done then."

This time Dick is surprised when Zatanna stands up from the table and grabs her bag. Did he say something or do something? "Hold on, where are you going?"

"I'm going home," she states matter-of-factly, "Unless you need something else?"

Dick shakes his head, "No I don't. I just thought, you know, that maybe you were hungry or something and we could eat and talk for a few minutes?"

Zatanna frowns, feeling almost bad about leaving even though he's offering to buy her a decent meal. It's just that, he really didn't want to talk to her in the first place. He invited her here because he needed her for business. Since their business is over, there's no point in staying. She's already gone eight months strong. She doesn't need this dinner to lead to something that could ruin all of the progress she's made.

"I'm sorry Dick, but I don't think that's a good idea. I'll have that for you in a few days alright?"

**I always wanted you to stay**

**But now I'm wishing you away**

**If this is what love feels like,**

**I'm done with it **

Just as she promised, not more than three days later, Zatanna is walking into The Cave with a box in her hand. It feels a little uncomfortable now. She hasn't really visited much since she joined The League. Just like she thought, instead of reminding her of The Team, The Cave just reminds her of Dick.

Lucky for her, standing there in the middle of the room is exactly who she's looking for. He's alone, thankfully, and it looks like he's not doing anything important. At least nothing he can't be distracted from for a few seconds.

"_Nightwing_," she walks up behind him and smiles as he turns away from the holographic computer to face her.

"I thought I sai-oh, hey Zatanna," he rubs the back of his neck with his hand and laughs nervously, "I thought you were someone else. I guess you're here to _ugh_…"

The mood is definitely uncomfortable. He must still feel a little hurt by the fact that she ditched him at dinner the other day, because it surely seems that way.

"Um, yeah…It's in here. I hope it's what you were looking for," she offers, trying to relieve at least a fraction of the awkwardness between them.

"I'm sure it'll be perfect, t-thanks."

"No problem."

She stands there, staring at the floor for what feels like an eternity. Its crazy how at one point, this was the person she felt most comfortable with. Now, they can't even strike up a real conversation without it just feeling wrong or ending with her leaving. Maybe her and Dick weren't meant to be together after all? Who knows, if he hadn't of cheated…they may have just grown apart anyway?

It's hard to tell, but she knows now that the choice she made eight months ago was definitely the right one. She doesn't regret leaving that night at all and maybe in few months they'll be alright again? Right now though, she knows they're not ready for anything more than the short exchanges they have occasionally when he's around The League. That's obviously what's best right now, and she's perfectly okay with that.

"I guess I'll see you around then," she says, turning around to walk back towards the zeta tubes.

Dick wants to say something, anything other than goodbye, but he doesn't have anything. He just has to let her walk away all over again. Of course, it's not like he didn't force her hand. "Yeah, I'll see you around."

She glances over her shoulder, only to see Dick watching her leave. For a second she considers saying something or going back and talking to him, but she knows better than that. She doesn't want to put herself in a position to get hurt all over again. Instead she just offers a slight smile and he does the same.

So maybe they won't ever work out together again, but they understand each other and Dick knows this is best for her at the moment. He hurt her eight months ago, in the worst way possible. Her leaving and not coming back now shows how much she's moved on and doesn't need him. It hurts to know that she's completely moved on, but it's nice to know that what he did didn't ruin her at the same time. It's reassuring to know that she's doing okay.

She may be on her own. She may be slightly heartbroken. She may even still be in love with love with Dick, just a little. But more than anything, she was going to okay.

**I feel in love once before**

**Now I won't be falling for that anymore **

* * *

><p>Well i hope you enjoyed :) plz leave a review<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

**I Did it for Everyone**

_by jadebrycin2116_

Hi guys! so after watching the new ep "Before the Dawn" (which is amazing, if you havent seen it watch it online somewhere) and reading "A Trip Down Memory Lane" by FrankandJoe3 (whom I love. great story. READ IT!) i was inspired to write this :) it only took two hours, so dont judge on the quality lol i tried haha

takes place a few days after the ep "Before the Dawn"

i do not own young justice

* * *

><p>Tangled in a sea of students, Wally breathed a deep, suppressed sigh of frustration as he excited his O-Chem class. Sure he was a science prodigy and all, but even the teacher's drawn out lectures and half assed explanations of organic compounds and chemical properties had his head swimming. Maybe if he could focus on something other than Artemis' safety for more than five seconds he wouldn't be at risk for failing his entire semester.<p>

He walked at a snail's pace, even for a non-speedster, and pinched the bridge of his nose. He had two lab reports to write up this week. They were just sitting on the coffee table at home…along with piles of all the other work he'd been neglecting for the past few weeks. He could try to go to the apartment and force himself to get some of it done, but he knew that the minute he walked into the place they used to share that he wouldn't be able to focus on anything. He'd already forgotten to feed himself and the dog twice this week.

He was in the middle of trying to remember if he'd fed the dog today when he smacked right into something, _or somebody_, he realized once he removed his hand from his face. Wally's first reaction was to apologize, naturally. He'd never been a rude guy; but once he got a good look at who he'd bumped into, his reaction completely changed. "Oh hey I'm-"

Wally's mouth hung open in surprise for all of a nano-second. There was no way he was going to stand here and let him know that he'd gotten the jump on him, _no way_. Better thought, what the hell was he doing here _anyway_? Before the red head could even contort his lips to ask, his question was already being answered.

"She knows."

Granted it wasn't a very detailed answer, but still it was a start. Fighting every urge he had to draw back his fist and punch his best friend square in the nose right in the middle of campus, Wally sucked in a deep breath and replied, "Knows _what_? Who knows?"

To say that Dick looked distraught was a gross understatement. He looked _terrible_. If he wasn't so caught off guard and irritated, Wally might actually be worried. Even on his worst days, Dick always managed to look better than even the most well-kept, attractive people Wally knew. Today though, with his blood shot eyes, splotchy complexion, and mismatched clothing, Dick could pass as any normal civilian. He didn't even need a cowl or sunglasses to hide the fact that he was the ward of billionaire Bruce Wayne. His disheveled mess of an appearance was doing that for him.

"She knows," he repeated with a look of devastation on his face as if he were hearing the news for the first time instead of delivering it.

Wally raised an eyebrow, waiting for Dick to continue, but when no more words came he quickly grew annoyed. He rolled his eyes and pushed past his friend. He didn't have time for Dick and his stupid riddles. He had homework to not do and classes to not pass. "Dude I don't have time for this. I have to-"

"Wally you're not listening to me!" Suddenly Dick's hand was griping Wally's bicep with a force that Wally didn't even know he had. Sure it was strong, but it was something else.

It was desperate.

He was grabbing for Wally as if he needed him, as if he was afraid he was going to leave and never come back. His eyes looked like they were on the verge of tears, but Dick Grayson wasn't much of a crier, at least not in public. The Stanford Campus was just about as public as a college age kid could get.

Slowly the speedster peeled Dick's death grip away and sighed, "Listening to what? You're not _saying_ anything."

Dark blue eyes widened in confusion. According to look on his face, Dick could swear his two word phrase had said it all and that Wally was just being dense. Green eyes stared back intensely, warning Dick that this was his last chance to say something of mild importance before Wally left his presence…maybe for good.

"M'Gann," he finally answered, his chest rising as he focused his gaze towards a crack in the sidewalk. He tried to distract himself by playing detective and thinking of every logical explanation for the crack as he continued, "She read Kaldur's mind on our last mission. She knows…she knows _everything_."

The shame practically oozed out of his words as he spoke. As his best friend, Wally could easily read every emotion cascading from Dick at this very moment: shame, failure, confusion, _fear_. As much as it killed him on the inside, Wally set aside his pride for a moment and grabbed at Dick's arm. "Come on, we can't talk about this here."

If nothing else, he told himself, they had to discuss this…for Artemis' sake.

* * *

><p>"What happened?" Wally asked, feeling an odd sense of déjà vu. He handed Dick a coffee mug, though it wasn't filled with coffee, just ice water. He hadn't gotten a chance to take the glasses out of the dishwasher since…well he wasn't sure.<p>

Reluctantly Dick took the mug, but couldn't bring himself to take drink. Instead he cradled it between his hands and stared at it just to avoid looking up at his best friend's disapproving stare. "It was on the mission, the one to recover the teens that had been kidnapped. We were on the ship and we had them. I don't even know how she ran into Kaldur, but when she did, she went into his mind and saw it all."

Trying to be the composed one in the situation, Wally took a second to think rationally. Rational thinking had never really been his forte, but since Dick was clearly a mess, he figured he would have to be the adult at the moment. "Did she say something to you? Did she confront you or what?"

For the first time since he'd walked into the apartment and sunken into the couch, Dick looked up and right into Wally's eyes. "She won't even look at me."

"Maybe-"

"She hates me. I don't blame her. I messed up and once she tells, and she will tell, everyone is going to hate me. They'll probably kick me off of the team."

This sort of self-deprecating talk, however brief it is, is new to Wally. Dick Grayson, _Nightwing_, isn't like this. Since when has he cared about what everyone else thought about him or his decisions? Not since they first formed the team years ago, and hardly then.

Everyone was going to hate him? He didn't blame them?

This entire rouse was _his_ idea. An idea he thought was so fucking great when he came up with it that he convinced Kaldur to willingly sacrifice his entire life on the spot. An idea Wally had potentially sacrificed the love of his life for. Now suddenly he'd _messed up_. After Kaldur, and Artemis and L'Gann and the cave, this was when he decided to second guess himself.

"Dude they'll understand," Wally sighed, suppressing the anger lying dormant inside of him. This wasn't the time to flip out, not yet. His best friend had come to him, in a time of need clearly, and it was his job to help him. He could scold him later. "They'll be mad at first. Then they'll be relieved, because hey, Kaldur isn't evil and Artemis isn't dead. Then they'll accept it because they'll get why you did it, why you had to do it."

Wally smiles in an attempt to be comforting and Dick forces himself to raise the corner of his lips back. He can't even bring himself to smile. He's got so much on his mind. "I-I just…what if they…what if I…Wally, what if I made the wrong decisions? These are people's lives I played with. I played with _your_ life."

"Not directly," he offers, but all that earns him is an eye roll and a '_bitch please_' sort of glance. "I mean yeah you propositioned Artemis to rejoin the team, only to fake die, which therefor affected me because I'm her boyfriend, but it affected her life a little more than mine."

He's trying. He's reaching. He's not even sure why. Honestly, what the hell has Dick done lately to earn this sort of sympathy? Dick knows that Wally's just being nice. Why, he's not sure. He doesn't deserve it, but he still appreciates it.

"Thanks."

Without a word, the red head nods. The silence that follows is long and awkward. Dick looks back down at the mug in his hands. The ice is almost melted and the condensation that's forming on the outside is making the porcelain mug harder to grip but he holds on.

Wally is standing on the opposite side of the coffee table with his arms crossed. It was meant to appear menacing and un-amused at first, his sign to Dick that he was still mad at him, but now it was just something to do with his hands as his eyes shifted nervously around the room.

It felt like hours before the silence was finally broken, but it finally was by the sound of Dick's cracking voice. "Do you understand?"

Clueless, the speedster raised an eyebrow, "Do I understand what?"

"What I did it? Do you understand?"

"Um…" He was caught off guard. That was all. Of course he understood, deep down on the inside. He didn't like any of the plans, but as a former vigilante, he knew why Dick had done what he did.

"Because I'm not sure if I do anymore."

"_What?_"

"I thought I had to do these things this way. I thought Kaldur going undercover, Artemis dying, the cave…I thought these were the only ways to get what we needed, but I'm not so sure anymore. I see M'Gann and the way she's been sulking around. She can barely even remember how to function. She's emotionally devastated. It's like she's regressing or something and that's all my fault. _I_ did that to her…Is that how everyone's going to be when they find out? She can barely even stomach being _near_ me. It's like she doesn't know w-who-"

Dick chokes on the words.

"Who you are anymore?" the red head suggests.

The younger male shakes his head, "No, it's like she doesn't know who _she_ is anymore. I messed up the last five years so bad. I made everyone hate Kaldur and go on all these wild alien hunting missions…it was all this big lie, and now it's like she can't find where she fits in. Conner told me everything. He said that she's been acting weird, questioning every decision she's made since Kaldur left and he can't figure out why she would fixate on that. Once they all find out what I did, are they all going to end up like her, questioning their lives and their careers like this?"

"I don't think so," Wally purses his lips in serious thought, "I mean, M'Gann's always been sort of emotional and over dramatic, you know? And if you think about it, she had an identity crisis long before you came along so-"

He stops mid-sentence when Dick's face makes it clear that he's not helping at all.

Sighing and rubbing his temples, Wally tries to think of something, anything that will turn his friend around a little. His first few ideas are duds, but then a good one comes to mind. "Do you remember that time we all got mad at Kaldur and he almost resigned his position as leader?"

"Yeah," Dick nods in response, "Because of the mole thing. But this isn-"

There's no way the speedster is going to let his friend finish that statement and convince himself that what he did was wrong. Yes, Dick made decisions that were hurtful and potentially dangerous and devastating. He asked people to do things that were extremely _hard_, but his decisions weren't _wrong._

They were necessary.

Even Wally knows that, even if he doesn't want to acknowledge to idea most of the time.

"Do you remember why he decided not to tell us about the mole?"

"Y-yeah. It was something about us turning on each other and it just being a rumor or whatever."

"Kaldur was leader. He made that decision because he had to. Were we all mad? Yes. But in the end, we knew that he'd done what was best for the team, for everybody."

"Yeah, but-"

"No Dick, before you say anything else," Wally states firmly, putting his hands up in front of him for emphasis, "When you sent Kaldur undercover, or pretend killed my girlfriend or did any of the things you did…did you do it for yourself or did you do it because in the end you thought it would help everybody?"

"Everybody," he says sheepishly, "I did it to help everyone."

Non-chalantly, Wally shrugs. It's as if it's the most simple answer ever. "Then nobody can hate you for that."

"But-"

"They're going to be mad Dick. Hell, I'm still mad at you. They'll be upset. Some of them will yell. Some of them will cry. Some of them might even break all the way down like M'Gann, like you are right now, but they'll get over it. In the end, they'll forgive you. They'll probably even help you and they'll be happy to do it. You're just going to have to give them time."

"_Time…_" Dick repeats, thinking it over. He dwells on the word for a few minutes before giving Wally the first genuine looking smile he's given him all day. "I can give them time."

"You won't have a choice…Until then, between you and me, you should probably clean yourself up some. You're like this close to looking like Roy when we found him on that rooftop, you just need a beard. Nobody can take you seriously when you look like this."

This gets Dick to actually laugh. It doesn't sound strained or forced. It's a real, light hearted laugh, "Is it really that bad?"

"_God yes!_ Dude you're a billionaire and you look like a crazy person, a really rich crazy person, but a crazy person nonetheless."

Dick frowns playfully, "That's weird, because I didn't think I looked crazy. I thought I had a more rugged, long haired Johnny Depp running errands, thing going."

"No," Wally assures him, "Not at all…Come on. I'll walk you back to the tube so you can go home and get your life together."

Setting the mug down on top of the stack of books on the coffee table, Dick stands up and walks towards the front door. "No, it's fine. I can walk myself. I've got some thinking I need to do anyway…but thanks."

"It was no problem," Wally says. Sure he was reluctant at first, even a little bitter, but it doesn't change the fact that he was glad to be of assistance.

"I mean, for this, this talk," says the dark haired teen, taking a step out of the door. "_It helped_."

Because he's not sure what to say, Wally just gives Dick a half smile and nods. It's enough to get the point across. Dick shoots a quick smile back and turns to face outside. Just before he starts to close the door, he stops. He doesn't turn towards his best friend again. He just makes sure to talk loud enough that he's heard.

"And Wally?"

The speedster stops and faces the door, having already turned around. "Y-yeah?"

"I'm sorry, you know? I know that's all you've wanted me to say since I asked Artemis to go on that mission and I've just been too stubborn to say it…but I'm sorry, _for everything_."

Wally nods, even though he's fully aware that it can't be seen. "I know Dick. I know…but I'm glad to hear you say it. It means a lot to me."

Dick shrugs a shoulder in reply, "Something told me it might. It was long overdue anway."

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><p>yay! hope u liked, plz comment<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

**Help**

**by jadebrycin2116**

Hola! Back with another update! Whenever I need a break, I come back to this story and its always fun. I started this fic a couple months ago and stumbled upon it the other day. Ending's a little rushed but I decided to finish it n post it up here just for the hell of it :)

as you read, you might notice the different symbols next to the date headers. Headers with the same symbol are part of the same time period. This might sound weird now, but it'll make sense when you start reading i swer lol :D

I do not own young justice

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><p><em><strong>**Today, Present Time**<strong>_

To say Wally had been acting strange lately was a gross understatement, to Robin at least. So maybe his best friend's changes weren't major or drastic, actually by Wally's standards they were subtle, but still enough to have the Boy Wonder's senses on alert.

For the last few weeks Wally had been keeping to himself more. He was finding sudden excuses to have to go home. He seemed to be on edge more, as if he was waiting for something bad to happen. It wasn't like him. He was a lot less care free the past few weeks, and he had Robin wondering what he was so busy caring about. The more time passed, the worst things seemed to get.

At first Robin thought he could brush it off or chalk it up to Wally having added pressure at school, something trivial like that. It wasn't until this moment that he decided something bigger was going on. After and outburst between him and Artemis, Wally had stormed off to his room to be alone. This wouldn't have been a problem if Robin wasn't sure that Wally needed some type of medical attention, _and_ if Wally's reaction to Artemis yelling at him hadn't been so out of character.

Usually the red head did something to bother the archer, she'd insult him, and he'd insult her back. It would be over and they may even spend some time together laughing and flirting after that. Today, though, had been all wrong. Then again, over the last few weeks, several things had been all wrong.

There was the incident with Batman, M'Gann dropping that glass the other day. Then last week when Wally had refused to join them for pizza. All that, plus this fight today with Artemis. Something was up, like really up, and as Wally's best friend, Robin was practically obligated by some unwritten elementary school code to find out what it was and help his friend.

"KF! Can I come in?" the younger teen yelled, standing outside of Wally's room at The Cave. Something told him the door was unlocked, but he was hoping Wally trusted him enough to invite him in.

"Go away Rob! I thought I told you guys to leave me alone?"

So much for being invited. "Dude come on, even if you won't let me in, at least go down to the Med Bay. There could be something seriously wrong with your shoulder!"

"There's not! It's fine and I'm fine! Go away."

After being his friend for so long, he figured Wally would give him a little more credit. He knew when KF was faking and he knew when he was lying. Right now, he was doing both. It was obvious just from the strain in his voice that he was in pain and Robin couldn't ignore that. He didn't hesitate to put his hand on Wally's door knob and let himself in.

He walked in quietly, only to see Wally's back turned towards him. He appeared to be attempting to put on a new, dry shirt but because of an obvious, recently obtained shoulder injury, it was taking a lot of extra effort. That didn't surprise Robin though, what surprised him was a collection of unexplained bruises all over Wally's back.

"Wally what happened to y-"

Startled, the speedster immediately turned around to see Robin standing in his doorway, his face in complete shock; and of course, turning around only made things worse for him. Now Robin could see not only the marks on his back, but the ones that littered his chest and abdomen too. Wally immediately abandoned the mission of attempting to dress himself and tried to explain. The effort was pointless.

"Rob I...I" he stuttered, walking towards his friend in total panic. There was no way he was kicking him out of his room. Robin had already seen him. So Wally did the next best thing. He pulled his best friend all the way into his room and he shut the door behind him.

"KF what the hell happened to you? There is no way that is from a mission. We haven't been on one in over a week."

Wally doesn't answer. He looks completely dumbfounded as he falls down onto the floor in front of his door, hoping that his body weight leaned up against it will be enough to keep any other intruders from just barging in on him.

"Wally...Wally! What is going on?" Robin finally demands, raising his voice.

Panic sets into Wally's already devastated face, "Please Rob, don't yell. D-don't be mad at me! I'm sorry!" His knees are pulled up in front of his chest and he's using his good arm to clutch his other into his chest as he rests his head against the door. Almost immediately he starts to tear up prompting him to violently clutch his eyelids together in a futile effort to get himself to stop.

Robin's stomach begins to twist into knots. It's obvious that whatever he thought was wrong, and what's really wrong, are on two opposite sides of the scale. This is a lot more serious than KF seems to have been letting on.

"Wally, I'm sorry I yelled," he says approaching his friend who's still curled up on the floor, "You didn't do anything okay?"

He crouches down to get closer to his friend and be at a more comforting eye level, but that only seems to freak him out more. When Dick reaches a hand out to place on his shoulder, Wally's body jerks underneath his hand and he's immediately trying to scoot to be anywhere but close to Dick.

"Wally calm down. Why are you...," because the idea seems completely wild and stupid, it takes Robin a moment to realize that Wally's flinching because he's afraid of him, "I'm ugh…I'm not going to hurt you okay?"

The red head is nodding, but Robin can tell by the way his body is shaking that he doesn't believe him.

"Is something the matter?" he asks as calmly as possible, "What's going on? What's wrong?"

The speedster turns his gaze towards his friend briefly, allowing Robin to see his tear filled eyes, before turning away.

"Wrong?" he repeats, knocking his head back onto the door again with a loud thud, "This is wrong. You weren't supposed to see this. I'm gonna be in so much trouble. I don't know what...maybe I can...I just..." by now Robin realizes that Wally is no longer talking to him. Now he's just mumbling incoherently to himself.

"Wally what are you-"

"You shouldn't have come in here!" The red head suddenly yells, muffled through flowing tears, "Why couldn't you just stay outside like I asked? Just mind your own business for once?"

He can't say that he's not hurt by the comment. Wally is obviously implying that he's nosy, but he can't really allow it to bother him right now.

"What am I going to do?" Wally complains, attempting to throw his arms up to his face. The sudden motion pinches his shoulder and he cries out. Robin puts his hands out to help him but Wally just pushes him off, "Don't touch me! You're gonna ruin everything!"

"What are you talking about Wally? What am I going to ruin? I don't know what's going on." It's silent for a few minutes, and Robin doesn't force it. He just sits there and lets Wally cry for several much needed minutes.

Robin can honestly say he has no idea what's going on or where the sudden outburst has come from. Yes, for a while now he's suspected that something was up, but he only came in here right now to make Wally go get his shoulder checked out.

Finally after giving him a few minutes, Robin knows he has to press the issue now while it's up. If Wally's going to tell him anything, it'll be right now. If he lets the moment pass, he might never find out what's wrong. Or at least he won't find out until something really bad happens. Slowly, so as not to startle the speedster anymore, Robin crawls I front of him and crosses his legs.

"Wally," he sighs; trying to decide if the question he's about to ask is a smart move. It seems like the most obvious question to ask next. "Is somebody hurting you?"

It's takes a second to get a reply out of his best friend. He's too busy hyperventilating to say anything. Robin can see his chest rising and falling dramatically even from behind his knees. Eventually the speedster just nods, his eyes clutched again, but tears still forcing their way out. It's like it physically hurts him to admit it.

From there, Robin goes to the next obvious question, "Who?"

"I-I can't…I can't…"

"If somebody's hurting you Wally, you've got to say something. Those bruises look terrible and…and you've been _acting_ different lately too. If you don't say something now, someone is going to figure it out eventually and the outcome will probably be worse."

"Dick," Wally uses his real name on purpose. This isn't a superhero trying to do the right thing kind of talk they're having. This is a friend to friend, serious personal problem, confidant kind of talk. "You don't understand."

"I'm trying to. I want to understand so that I can help you."

"I don't want help. Help is just going to make everything worse. You weren't even supposed to know something was wrong."

"Dude, I'm your best friend. Of course I was going to notice something was up eventually. I applaud you, for the most part you've been alright. But there's been a few time where I just knew, like when you freaked out after that mission or when you didn't want to eat with us, when Miss M dropped that glass, and today with Artemis."

"You noticed all that?" Wally asked, sounding kind of surprised.

Robin nods, "Yeah. What was all that about anyway?"

Wally sighs knowing that what he's about to do will either be the biggest relief, or more than likely, the biggest mistake he's ever made in his entire life.

_**xxX Three Weeks Earlier Xxx**_

The team is silent as they all stand around listening to Batman chew them out collectively for a failed covert mission. The objective was simple enough. Get in, don't get caught, retrieve disc containing information, get out. Of course, it couldn't ever be that easy.

They were almost out, so close it was too good to be true. That's when Wally did it. He set off one alarm, which set off two, and then three until the whole building was alerted of their presence. Henchmen appeared from everywhere, ambushing the team and outdoing them with sheer numbers. They made it out, but not without a few injuries including a stab wound that would have Kaldur sidelined for several weeks; plus a pair of broken ribs and concussion for Batman's young protégé. He had not been happy, especially with Wally.

"It was a simple covert mission. You've done enough of these before Kid Flash. You know the meaning of covert, don't _you_?" Batman is shooting a death glare at Wally that obviously has the young teen shaken up. The way he's scolding Wally seems harsh, the entire team thinks so, but he's so upset no one seems to have the guts to say it.

"There is no excuse for what happened tonight. You jeopardized then entire mission, caused The Team to lose the retrieved information, and caused severe injuries to two of your team mates, all over an elementary slipup."

Wally just sinks further and further into himself, staring at Batman with wide, frightened eyes. Robin can notice him shaking slightly as he gets yelled at. That isn't like Wally though. While it's normal to be a little scared, Wally's never been scolded and looked so terrified. You would think Batman was going to attack him. He's biting down on his bottom lip as if anticipating a blow to come at any second.

"I'm sorry. I didn't…I'm sorry. I made a-I messed up," he says pleadingly staring right back at Batman. When The Dark Knight opens his mouth again, Wally's entire body tenses up.

"C-come on Batman," Robin calls out trying to stop his team mate from getting chewed out any longer. He's been watching his mentor break down Kid Flash for at least twenty minutes. "He's sorry. Can't you-"

When he's shot a glare of his own, Robin knows to shut his mouth. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

"Sorry? Sorry does not change what happened tonight…Maybe giving you a position on this team was a mistake," Batman growls between gritted teeth.

"N-no," Wally says softly, his eyes getting wide as if something's been triggered in his mind. "Y-you don't…you don't mean that, right?"

Tears well up in the speedster's eyes and his hands are yanking at his messy red hair, "Why would you say…I-I'm sorry. I can't…I can't do this right now." At that moment, Wally does something none of them have ever dared to do before. He leaves, in the middle of his talk with Batman. He runs towards the Cave Hanger and he leaves without another word. Robin doesn't even get a chance to attempt to console his friend. He's just standing there with a look of utter shock on his face, along with Batman and the rest of The Team.

His mentor stares at him, as if he's supposed to have some sort of explanation, but he has nothing. All he can do is shrug.

**xxX The Night Before Xxx**

Wally closed the door behind him as he walked into the house. It was another late night at The Cave and he expected his dad to already be asleep by now. Since his mom had went out of town last week, it seemed his dad had been drinking earlier and falling asleep earlier as well. Wally definitely didn't mind that. It meant that now when he came in at unruly hours, his father was hopefully too knocked out to harass him. Tonight, however, was not one of those nights.

"Wally? Is that you?" Rudolph West slurred from his spot on the living room sofa. Even though his son was in plain sight, he didn't bother to open his eyes and actually look to see who was walking into his house.

"Um, yeah dad. It's me."

"Good…get me another beer would you?"

The teen looked towards the fridge and then at the scene in the living room. His dad was laid out on the couch, several bottles spread between the floor and the coffee table. "I don't know dad. It's late. I think you should just go to bed?"

In a mild stupor, Rudolph sits up in his spot rubbing his eyes. His stomach is turning, the beginnings of a hangover. The light from the television is aggravating his eyes and the last thing he needs is some stupid kid trying to offer him his opinion. "I didn't ask you what you think. I told you to get me another God damn beer!"

Uneasiness surges through Wally's body as he stands between his father on the couch and the entrance to the kitchen. His better judgment tells him not to do it, but his sense of self-preservation is telling him to just get the beer and go to bed in one piece.

"B-but…"

"But what!" yells his father, before pushing himself up off the couch, "You know what? Never mind. I'll get it myself. What's the point of even having you around? You're so damn worthless."

Rudolph makes a point to aggressively push past Wally while making his way to the fridge and pulling another glass bottle out. He pops the top off and takes a long refreshing swig. It isn't until he pulls the bottle away from his face that he notices Wally hasn't moved. "What the hell are you still doing here? Wipe that pathetic look off of your face and take your useless ass to bed."

Despite the command, Wally remains standing there with a disappointed look. Just once he'd appreciate it if his dad would listen to him, just to prove that he actually cared for him a little.

After another swig, Rudolph lowers his eyes and glares hatefully at his own son. "Damn it Wally. I thought I told you to go to bed? You're useless _and_ you don't listen. I'll be glad when you turn eighteen and I can kick you out of my house. You know, I didn't even want you here in the first place."

At this comment, the young speedster raises a confused eyebrow. That's not something his dad has ever said to him before. He hopes he's kidding or that it's just the beer talking, but something tells him it's not. "What?"

"Bet you weren't expecting that?" Rudolph laughs, "I said I didn't _want_ you in the first place. You never wondered why you were an only child, Wally? Your mother would never tell you, but she's not here is she? We didn't _want_ you. We didn't ask for you or plan you. Your mom got pregnant by accident and by the time we found out there wasn't anything we could do about it."

To say that Wally is surprised is an understatement. Never in his life would he have expected his father to say something like that. "You don't…you don't mean that?" It's supposed to be a statement but it comes out more like a question. He can't even muffle the insecurity he's feeling behind a firm voice.

"Of course I mean that," he smiles, which just seems so wrong. How can he say things like this and smile while he does it? "You were a _mistake_ Wally."

"Don't say that!" the speedster suddenly yells. It's so spur of the moment he even surprises himself. He just doesn't want to hear this anymore. Right now his father is saying things he hopes he'll regret later.

"Stop," he begs, "Please just stop."

His son's pitiful begging only makes laugh again. It's sick that he gets so much joy out of this. All of this over one stupid beer? "I'm just being honest Wally. I thought you might like to know. Would you like to tell me what you _think_ about this, since you seem to love telling me what you think so much?"

Wally doesn't say anything. He just stares with wide eyes.

"I'll tell you what _I_ think. I think you're a useless child and that you weren't even a good mistake. You're the type of mistake people regret for the rest of their lives. What do you think?"

Again Wally chooses to remain silent. This isn't true. None of this is true. His dad doesn't mean any of this. He's just drunk and upset and saying anything he thinks will hurt him. Instead of even attempting to reply, he just turns to leave. It's better if he leaves. He just can't do this right now.

**xxX The Next Morning Xxx**

Wally walked into the kitchen, hoping to get some breakfast and head to The Cave without being noticed. If he was lucky, his father would still be passed out in his room sleeping away another hangover. Wally knew better than to hope for anything like that, his luck had run out a long time ago.

Leaning over the sink, slowly sipping a warm glass of water was Rudolph West. Wally's entire body tensed up and he seriously considered just trying to sneak out of the front door unnoticed, but he knew his stomach needed something in it before he left. He wouldn't have time to eat before training. As long as he didn't make too much noise to bother his dad, he figured he could slip in, grab something and go. The minute he stepped foot in the kitchen his father was turning and looking at him.

"Wally."

"Dad."

"Going to The Cave?" he asked casually, almost too casually for Wally to be comfortable with. This happened a lot though. Sometimes Rudolph would get so drunk, he wouldn't even remember what he'd done or said to his son the night before.

Wally walked behind him towards the fridge and nodded out of sheer habit, "Y-yeah."

"Okay. Be careful or whatever." It was awkward and not affectionate in any sense of the word. Wally could tell his father was just saying because he felt he had too, completely confirming everything he said last night as true.

Wally just sighed. It hurt knowing you were somewhere that you weren't wanted, but there wasn't much he could do right now. He just grabbed an apple, put on a face, went to The Cave and pretended that everything was okay.

_**ooO Two Weeks Ago Ooo**_

Superboy huffed obnoxiously, making it known to everyone that he had no desire to help his girlfriend make anything that night. Couldn't somebody else cook something or assist her?

Also in the kitchen, Robin sat at the counter next to Wally who was too wrapped up in devouring his apple to hear what The Boy Wonder had to say. He knew it was something about a potential new mission, as far as Wally was concerned, if he never heard the word mission again after last week, it would be too soon.

The red head was sinking his teeth into fresh apple territory when it happened. M'Gann had attempted to levitate a glass bowl to an inattentive Conner, when it missed his hands and went crashing to the floor. The sound of shards shattering completely terrified Wally.

The speedster dropped his apple to the floor, choking on the piece already in his mouth. His hands were furiously gripping the edge of the counter as he coughed violently. He hadn't meant to choke. The sound had startled him so much, it just happened. Honestly compared to what he was about to do, _cower in utter fear and beg not to be hurt_, almost choking seemed like a better option.

Robin looked at his friend hunched over and hacking his lungs out by the counter. Immediately he went over to him.

"KF are you okay? Do you nee-" he'd intended to offer him a glass of water and place a hand on his back. The moment his hand made contact with his trembling friend, he flipped.

"What are you-_what are you doing_?" he yelled, turning around. His eyes were wide with a mixture of surprise and fear.

"Wally calm down. I was just trying to ask you if you needed water or help," the closer he got to Wally, the more the speedster backed up away from him. He had the same look he'd had with Batman the week before. It looked like Wally was scared of him.

"N-no," stuttered the shaken teen in reply, "I-I'm fine." His eyes darted across the room in panic and he was wrapping his arms around himself frantically.

"I just...I just got kind of startled is all."

Robin's instincts wanted him to press the issue, but Wally's broken demeanor was begging him to just leave it alone. "O-okay, are you sure?"

"Ye-yeah. I'm positive. I'm fine. Honestly, I ugh...I should getting h-home anyway. I'll see you guys later or something."

He didn't even stick around to hear a reply before speeding off to the tubes. Robin blinked and then Wally was gone. He looked over at Superboy and Miss Martian, who both had equal looks of confusion on their faces.

"Is something wrong with Wally?" she asked Robin, with concern, "I don't know why, but he seemed so panicked. I got the feeling he was afraid of you for a second, but the feeling I got when he left was a weird, at least I think?"

"What was it?"

"He was ashamed of himself."

**ooO Three Nights Before Ooo**

When he walked in that night and saw his dad lying on the couch, Wally wasn't surprised to see the trash and empty cans and bottles around him. As much as he wanted to leave him there for the rest of the night, he wasn't that kind of person. Just because his dad claimed to not care about him last week, didn't mean Wally didn't care for his dad; and if nothing else, he had put up with him and raised him for his entire life. That was more than he could say for some people he knew. There were kids at his school who'd never even met their father's.

He made his way to his dad first, placing an arm under him and trying to help him up. He'd pick him up, but his dad isn't exactly built to be carried bridal style. "_Hrrmphh_…" Rudolph mumbles incoherently as they stood in front of the couch.

Wally has no idea what he just said, but he tries to assure him that everything is fine anyway. "Shh dad, it's just me. You fell asleep on the couch. I'm taking you to bed."

Rudolph stops, being completely uncooperative and lifts his hands to rub his eyes. He wants to use both hands but Wally's arm is in his way, so he pushes him off. "M-move, you're in my way! Always in the fucking way…wh-why are you even touching me? What are you…"

"I was just trying to help you to your room so you didn't have to sleep out here," his son assures him innocently. Rudolph is wobbling back and forth in an attempt to take a step forward. Wally places his hands out to assist him, "Dad, come on. Let me help you."

"I don't-" Rudolph doesn't even finish his sentence before wobbling back down onto the couch. He sticks his hand up to shoo his son away, "I don't need your damn help."

Whether that's true or not, Wally doesn't feel comfortable enough to leave his father there. He wished he would just let him walk him to bed. He tries again, "Don't be difficult. Just come with me, please."

"I said I don't need your damn help!" Rudolph yells, pushing Wally back onto his elbows. The rug burn he's experiencing on his arms definitely isn't a pleasant feeling. He goes to pulls his elbows off the carpet, but his dad is already hobbling towards him and Wally already knows what this means as his backs himself into a wall.

Once he hits the solid surface, he makes an attempt to stand up before his dad can get to him. He's been through too many nights like this not to know what's going to happen. From here it's just a matter of where his dad's fist is going to land and whether or not it leaves a bruise tonight.

Instead of coming closer and hitting him, he lifts an empty bottle from the floor and throws it aiming for Wally's head. The speedster ducks immediately as the bottle explodes above his head and making a terrible shattering sound. He stares at his father with wide eyes, in utter disbelief. The look doesn't last long, as his father throws another glass bottle. It misses completely, but the sound still scares Wally half to death.

Anticipating the next bottle, he's crouches down into himself and his puts his hands over his head. The next bottle is a little closer and Wally can feel small shards fall down around him. For the next few seconds, he's too busy cowering in utter fear to notice Rudolph stumbling towards him. He doesn't know his dad is anywhere near him until his father's hand is on his back. Wally turns his face towards his dad as Rudolph aggressively pulled him up from the floor.

"What are you-What are you doing?" he asks, praying his dad is just going to send him to bed.

Rudolph lifts his son, just to throw him into a pile of trash that's lying on the ground. Then he lifts one more bottle and tosses it, only to create more of a mess for him. Wally clenches in fear from his spot lying on the floor.

"Clean this shit up. Every. Last. Piece," demands the older male, "I'm going…I'm going to bed."

**..:: One Week Ago ::..**

Robin lay on the couch, his legs spread over Zatanna's as they shared a laugh at Conner's expense. He never seemed to get cheesy movie jokes and their hilarity, and it was kind of cute to watch him pout angrily after every punch line. Sitting in the living room, the entire team sat around the TV relaxing on a Friday night. Because they had no mission, everyone had agreed to rent movies, buy a bunch of pizza, ice cream and other junk, and spend time together. Everyone was sitting out in the living room, with the exception of Wally.

Despite agreeing to hang out with them and sounding excited about the event earlier in the week, when it was time to do so, he claimed to be too tired to get up and go into the living room. The team had found it weird, but Wally had seemed a little off all day. They assumed he was sick because of how he'd been clutching his stomach earlier when he arrived around six-thirty. It definitely looked that way.

They started watching movies around eight so when Wally came out of his room around nine, the group thought he was finally feeling alright enough to join them.

"Hey Wally!" Zatanna shouts over the couch with a smile.

Kaldur paused the movie out of courtesy as The Team turned their heads to face their friend. He was standing in the fridge and pulling out a bottled water. "Are you coming to join us now?"

The last thing he wants to do is go over there and sit down to watch some overly cheerful movie, but it's essentially Team bonding, and he is a part of The Team. He nods reluctantly and then forces a more _'Wally'_ smile, "Y-yeah, sure."

He walks over to where they all seem to be smiling and enjoying themselves. They're coupled up. Robin is on the couch with Zatanna. Rocket, the newest member, is leaning against Kaldur's legs on the floor while he's up in chair. M'Gann and Superboy are cuddling together in the other chair. Finally, the speedster sees Artemis with a blanket lying on the floor by herself beside the coffee table. She pats the open spot beside her, so he goes towards her.

Instead of lying down between Artemis and the table, he remains sitting up, legs crossed, hands resting on his stomach. The sight and smell of the food sitting on the table is making him nauseous to the point of almost wanting to throw up. He doesn't want to bug Artemis and ask her to trade him spots, so he decides not to say anything. He'll live.

"You hungry?" Robin asks him from the couch, motioning towards the table, "We still have tons of food."

Artemis rolls her eyes jokingly, "Are you seriously asking if Kid Stomach's hungry?"

He forces himself to smirk at Artemis and playfully push her shoulder, "Shut up and actually no…no thanks. I-I'm okay."

There isn't a single person in the room who isn't surprised and they make it known by all turning to face the red head. "Are you serious?" Rocket asks from her spot on the floor. Despite not having been around that long, she's still seen the kid plow through food like he's never going to eat again, like _ever_.

"But Robin even got you your favorite, and trust me, no one's touched it," Zatanna chimes in.

Wally just nods, wishing everyone would leave him alone. The kid doesn't want to eat once and it's like the end of the world. "Thanks but really guys, I'm ugh…I'm fine. I don't want anything."

It's not a lie. Sure, he's starting to get kind of hungry again but he can't bring himself to eat, especially not this. Pizza, soda, junk food, is not what he's in the mood for. He's had more than enough of that today for a lifetime.

Robin takes a second to sit up and look towards his best friend, noticing the way he's sitting. He can't help but wonder if something's wrong and what? Wally can detect a more serious tone in his voice when he asks, "Are you sure KF?"

"Rob dude. I'm fine," he says. Of course it's at that moment, his stomach lets out a faint growl, ruining all his attempts to assure his friends he's not interested in the food they're offering.

"I mean, you know with your metabolism being the way it is and all. We just wouldn't want you to pass out or crash or anything."

Feeling a combination of queasy and frustrated, Wally just can't take it anymore. He's been forced to do enough for one day. "I know how my body works Rob, okay? I'm not a little kid. I'm just not hungry. Is that a problem? Did I do something wrong? Because I'm not in the mood for any of this shit!"

Rob throws his hands up in defense, just wanting to calm his friend down. "Um, wow, KF. Dude I'm sorry. I ugh…I didn't mean anything by it."

Almost instantly Wally is feeling bad. He's just taken out his terrible day on his best friend and he was just being nice. Quickly Wally stands up to excuse himself. "No, I'm sorry. I ugh…Look, I'm still not feeling well. I'm just gonna go back to bed."

**..:: Earlier That Day ::..**

Wally walked into the kitchen around twelve to see his father rummaging through the fridge, the distinctive smell of liquor radiating off of him and the usual mass of bottles littering the living room. He looks up, eyes glassy and turns to Wally, "I'm fucking starving. What happened to the leftover food that was in here?"

"That pizza and chinese?" Wally asks. Since his mom had left, that's essentially what they'd been living off of. "I was hungry around four-thirty, so I ate it."

Rudolph narrows his eyes in a glare at his son, "Y-you ate it? All of it?"

Wally nods, "Ugh, yeah." He thinks that part would be obvious. His parents know by now how much he has to eat to keep up with his over active metabolism. That's the whole reason he's in the kitchen right now. "I thought they were just left overs. I didn't think you'd be coming back for it."

"Really? Because you're th-the only person who ever gets hungry around here?"

"N-no," he replies backing up as his dad closes the door to the fridge. He's hoping that he isn't upset enough over this to hit him. It was just take out, they can order more.

"You sure as hell act like it! Do you know what it takes to raise a freak like you?" he yells irritated, "The m-money, and time, a-a-and effort! All I wanted to have a beer on my day off, watch a game, and enjoy a slice of pizza! Not with you living in my house! I'm lucky any damn groceries last at all! I'm getting tired of this shit!"

Wally stares back with wide eyes. His dad can't seriously be this mad, but then again, Wally's had worse happen to him for less. He lowers his gaze to the floor and hopes his dad has gotten out everything he wants to say, "I didn't know. I'm sorry."

Rudolph glares and stumbles past his son, making sure to push him into the counter as he passes, "Not yet you aren't..."

**..:: Same Day, Several Hours Later ::..**

After his dad's little episode, Wally ends up in his room, listening to music, and trying to get a some homework done before he heads to The Cave for the movie night they're supposed to be having. It's about four when he hears his dad calling his name from the living room.

"Waaa-lee!" he's practically singing it, which has the red head mildly concerned. If he's singing, that means he's still drunk and if he's still drunk, nothing good is bound to happen.

Having personally felt the consequences of keeping his father waiting, Wally closes his books and makes his way down the hall. Rudolph is standing in the dining room, smile on his face, leaning against the wall, nursing a bottle of beer.

"Hey son," he smiles uncharacteristically before pointing towards the table. "I ordered food."

Wally looks in front of him at the table. Sitting on top of it is about five boxes of pizza and more containers of Chinese than Flash could eat in one sitting. He must be stocking up.

"You hungry?" Rudolph asks, "Of course you are. You're _always_hungry."

Wally watches in confusion as his dad pulls out a seat from the table and motions for him to come sit in it. He's too skeptical to move. What the hell is going on here?

When he doesn't move fast enough, Rudolph's demeanor and tone change, "I told you to get over here and get in this God damn seat!"

Wally sighs defeated and slowly makes his way over to the chair his father's pulled out for him. Once he's within reach, Rudolph grabs the sleeve of his shirt and throws him down into the chair.

"I just figured you'd wanna eat, you know, because you're so hungry all the time. And since you seem to love the leftovers I had sitting in the fridge, I thought you'd like some more."

Wally couldn't be more confused and scared at the same time. His dad's never exactly done anything like this before; it's almost like a mind game. Usually he just yells, says some fucked up things, and then hits him. This, whatever it is, is new.

Rudolph grabs a pizza box and opens the lid, pushing it in front of Wally. "Go ahead, have a piece."

Sitting as stiffly as possible, Wally shakes his head. He doesn't want to make one wrong move and the crap kicked out of him before tonight. "I'm not hungry."

"Well I don't care," Rudolph says walking up behind his son, "because if you ever want to get up from this damn table, you're going to sit here and eat all of this. You want to eat everything in the house so damn bad, here's your chance."

Wally stares in front of him. He's eaten a whole box of pizza by himself before, that's easy, but never five. And then the Chinese on top of it? If he would've known eating those stupid left overs this morning would've been such a problem, he wouldn't have done it. Even being a speedster with a serious metabolism, he knows he can't do all of this in one continuous sitting.

His dad knows that too, he's sure. Everybody does. When Wally first got his powers as a kid, it wasn't uncommon for the overexcited speedster to overdo it on things like candy on Halloween or cake on birthdays. His first Thanksgiving as Kid Flash, he ate too much too fast and threw up all over his grandmother's carpet.

Tired of Wally's staring, Rudolph squeezes the back of Wally's neck and thrusts his head towards the open box. "Start. Eating."

Never in his entire life, has Wally been so ashamed to eat. Timidly he grabs a slice and takes a bite. He's chewing slowly when his arms and jerks him against the back of the wooden seat, "I know you can eat faster than that. Don't play with me."

Moving faster out of pure fear, Wally finishes the first box with ease. Making it through the first half of the second box isn't so bad, but after that, a problem arises. Standing and watching his son, Rudolph just smirks. He walks over to the table and grabs a chinese carton, dumping its contents on top of Wally's pizza.

"I thought it might help you get done a little faster," he laughs before taking a swig of his latest beer, "If you feel the need to throw up, you're welcome to run to the kitchen sink."

Over the course of the meal, Wally takes up the offer multiple times.

Pizza and chinese are two things he usually loves, but halfway through his torture, these are two things he never wants to see ever again. Food in general is something he never wants to see again.

Between trying to force down the meal as fast as possible, throwing up, being taunted and being hit and jerked around by his dad whenever he's 'moving too slow', Wally can barely take this. He never thought eating would ever make him so miserable.

Finishing off the meal takes all of his will power and several hours of his time. In the back of his mind, the speedster almost wishes his dad would've just punched him over the food instead. At least that would've been over quickly.

After taking his last bite, Wally lays his head down on the edge of table, breathing heavily and trying not to throw up the contents of his traumatized stomach. Rudolph, being the ass hole he truly is, just can't seem to let that happen.

He digs his hands into Wally's shoulder and pulls him out of the chair. Holding his stomach, Wally stands hunched over and reaches one arm up to support himself against the wall.

"Enjoy yourself?" his father mocks, "I think it's sick the way you and your uncle eat. I'm sure I'll see you in here again in a few hours won't I?"

Wally doesn't answer, only aggravating his father further. Rudolph pulls from his bottle and steps forward, punching his son square in the stomach. It takes literally everything he has to keep from throwing up. Wally knows puking all over the carpet will only lead to a worse beating.

"Answer me when I talk to you. I'll probably see your pathetic ass in here again a few hours from now, won't I?"

Wally slowly shakes his head no and hopes he doesn't get hit again for that answer. Rudolph rolls his eyes. "Yeah, we'll see. I better not, if you know what's good for you."

_****Today, One Hour Earlier****_

"Well yeah, but never as good as you babe," Wally shoots a flirty eye at M'Gann from across the counter.

From a chair at the counter, messing with one of her arrows, Artemis huffs and rolls her eyes, "You know she's not interested. Lay off it Baywatch."

"Shove it Artemis. I was just paying her a compliment. Mind your business."

"I would," the blonde gripes, "If you weren't making all of your pathetic advances in public parts of The Cave."

Wally rolls his eyes, not in the mood for Artemis or her attitude today. "Geez, Artemis why do you always have to be such a bitch?"

He stands up from the chair he's sitting on to walk away. He'd rather go join Robin in the living room where she wasn't. He only makes it a few steps before a hand is on his shoulder swinging him around.

"A bitch? _I'm a bitch?"_she yells at the speedster, claiming everyone else's attention, "This is coming from the most arrogant, conceited, pathetic, annoying, kid on this fucking team?"

With every word she lists off, her volume rises and she takes a step closer to Wally, who takes a cautious step back.

"All you do is sit around here on your lazy ass harassing Conner's girlfriend, eating everything we have, and getting on everyone's last nerves, but I'm a bitch?" she shouts as Wally puts his hands up as if defending himself.

Now Rob is up from his spot in the living room and attempting to stop Artemis' rampage. Seeing the irrational amount of fear plastered on Wally's face, Robin turns to the blonde, "Artemis calm down."

"For what? Make him apologize for calling me a bitch!" Despite doing his best to stop her in her tracks, Artemis is moving Dick right out of her way. The more steps she takes, the less irritated the speedster looks, and the more terrified.

"I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry!" Dick can't help but notice there's no bass in Wally's voice at all. His apology comes out shaky and cracking like a kid whose voice is just starting to change.

Artemis shoves Dick out of the way and moves forward, "No you're not! You didn't even say for what?"

"I'm sorry I-" It's at this point that Artemis throws her hands up above her head. Wally flinches throwing his own hands in front of his, anticipating a strike, and walks in the back of the couch. Not expecting to run into anything, he flips over it, flailing his arms and landing right on his shoulder. He yells out in pain, feeling the joint pop out and back into place in mere seconds.

Artemis, completely blowing off the fact that she was ever mad, runs around the couch. Robin hops over it and they're both next to each other in seconds trying to offer help. "Dude, are you okay?"

Wally sits up, clutching his shoulder in one hand and grimacing in pain. "I'm fine. Do-don't touch me."

"You should probably get that looked at," Robin suggests just trying to show genuine concern for his friend.

The speedster forces himself up and pushes past both of his friends towards his room, "I said I was fine. Just leave me alone."

"But KF you could be hu-"

"Just drop it. I'm going to my room."

_****Today, Present Time** **_

Robin stared at his best friend, eyes wide. If the words hadn't come right out of Wally's mouth, he's not sure that he would believe them.

"W-wally, you're kidding right? Your dad really didn't-he doesn't do that to you, doe he?"

The speedster doesn't turn his face to look at him and that's all the answer that Robin needs. Every last detail of each of those stories is true, and as Wally's best friend, he has to say something.

"Dude, we have to tell somebody." He knows that's not what Wally is going to want to hear but it's true. Nothing about What Rudolph's doing is right. He can't believe he didn't notice any of this before.

Wally slowly rubs his palms over his eyes, obviously distressed, and shakes his head. "No. N-no way. I shouldn't have even told you. I-I-"

Robin isn't sure what to do. He could just go tell somebody himself, but at the same time he doesn't want to break his best friend's trust. God, why did Wally have to be so difficult sometimes? Why couldn't he realize this was a problem and ask for help? He wasn't stupid, Rob knew that. He was pretty sure Wally was smart enough to recognize that logically, it wasn't okay for your dad to get drunk and beat the shit out of you physically and emotionally every week.

"Wally, this isn't okay. He's hurting you and if you don't do anything…" Robin says, before choking up for a second, "well you're my best friend and I just don't want anything to happen to you."

With a slight smile on the corner of his lips, Wally looks over at Robin. He appreciates the concern, but still. The smile lasts all of a nano-second before he's back to frowning, "Rob I don't know if I can. W-what's going to happen to my dad?"

"Your dad? What about what's going to happen to you if you stay there? Have you seen yourself, or even noticed the way you've been acting because of him? Why do you care about him at all? He doesn't care about you. One of these days, he's going to seriously hurt you, m-maybe even kill you. How do you think the rest of us would feel if that happened? You can't stay with him!"

Wally just nods indifferently, hoping Robin will drop it or something. These are things he's already considered and scenarios he's already played out in his mind. But there are factors that Robin wouldn't understand, things he hasn't considered because he's not the one going through this.

"And just the way that he talks to you…If he doesn't kill you…you could hurt yourself."

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand what Robin is implying. But that's just crazy. Wally isn't like that. The thought's never even crossed his mind. "Robin I would never do that."

Suddenly the entire feeling in the room is uncomfortable and all Robin can do is awkwardly shrug, "I never thought you would but…I'm just starting to wonder is all."

Silently they both sit there, stuck in their own thoughts. Robin goes back and forth between breaking Wally's trust and potentially saving his life. Wally is just trying to think straight. So many things are running through his mind, so many possibilities, but he's just not sure what to do at this point. He knows what he _should_ do, but that just seems so hard.

After several minutes, Robin can't take sitting here anymore. He stands up to leave because If Wally doesn't help himself what is he supposed to do? He can't force him to do anything and it's not his place to tell…is it?

"Look, I can't force…I can't force you to tell anybody or ask for help. I'm just hoping that if you don't want to do it for me or anybody else around here who cares about you, maybe you'll come to your senses after I leave and want to do it for yourself."

Wally watches Robin stand and get ready to leave, letting his words reflect in his head. What the hell is he doing? His dad doesn't care about him, he even admitted it. Why should continue to let his dad hurt him, and subsequently everyone around him. It wasn't fair or okay. Robin was right. He needed to say something, if not for his friends or his family, but for himself.

Almost immediately, Wally shoots up, taking Robin's shoulder, "D-dude, wait…I-I ugh…I..." he stutters, trying to figure out what he's trying to say. Finally he settles on something a little less direct, "Walk me to the Med Bay?"

At first Rob raises an eyebrow, ready to refuse. Wally has two working legs, at least until his dad gets to them, why can't he walk himself? It takes Robing a moment to stop being dense and realize that Wally really isn't asking for someone to accompany him down a few hallways.

He's asking for help.

* * *

><p>well not my personal fav, but i hope you enjoyed regardless :) I liked the concept at least and would love to hear what you thought<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

I was honestly more inspired by the scene in Pitch Perfect, than I was by the actual Nelly version, but oh well. Just a quick one shot/song fic. I dont exactly use the whole song but I guess that doesnt really matter.

i do not own young justice or pitch perfect or nelly or his songs.

* * *

><p><strong>Just A Dream<strong>

**by Nelly**

"_Well we're practically married anyway right?" _

"_Please tell me this isn't your way of asking me?" _

"_Why, is this not good enough?" _

"_Um, no. You don't even have a ring." _

"_Who says I don't? _

"_You don-Oh my God Wally is that-" _

"_It is…So what do you say babe? You want to spend the rest of your life with me?" _

**xXx**

"_You're kidding right? Seriously? Don't play with me, you're pregnant?"_

"_Are you mad? You sound mad. I-" _

"_Mad? Of course not! I'm ecstatic babe! This is perfect! It's amazing!" _

**xXx**

"_Oh my God Wally, look at them." _

"_I can't believe they're really-Look he's got your eyes a-and…oh damn, she got my stupid red hair." _

"_I-I don't think your hair is stupid. I think it's beau- I think it's beautiful." _

"_That's because you're still on drugs. This sucks, but them, yeah they're beautiful."_

**xXx**

"_Artemis? A-Artemis, where are you? Come back to bed. I wa-kids what are you-" _

"_Where's mommy going?" _

"_What?" _

"_Mommy? Uncle Dick came and he took mommy." _

"_What are you-"_

**I was thinking 'bout her, **

**Thinkin' bout me**

**Thinkin' bout us, **

**What we gon' be?**

**Open my eyes, yeah **

**It was only just a dream**

Wally shot up in bed, sweat pooling at the top of his forehead and dripping down his face. Frantically he felt the space to his side,

but there was nothing.

Nothing? Why was there…

He threw back the covers in a panic and still nothing. Where the hell was she? Where was Artemis? Why wasn't she…and then it hit him! Artemis? What Artemis?

_There was no Artemis. _

There was no Artemis. There was no marriage. There were no kids. Sure there was a Dick, but he damn sure wasn't anybody's uncle, not in this life. It was all in Wally's head.

Slowly he sat up, his breath accelerated as if he'd run miles. What was going on with him? He couldn't be that worried. He needed to just calm down. Artemis was fine. Dick knew what he was doing. He wouldn't have sent his best friend's girlfriend of _five years_ on a suicide mission…at least Wally didn't _think_ he would…or at least he _hoped_.

But Wally couldn't really be sure anymore. All he knew was he had just been woken up in the middle of his sleep for the third night in a row and he needed to go back to bed. Sitting up worrying wasn't going to bring Artemis back any faster.

If she even came back at all.

**So I travelled back,**

**Down that road**

**Will she come back?**

**No one knows**

**I realize, yeah**

**It was only just a dream **

He stood up out of bed and made his way to the kitchen, grabbing one of their plastic cups out of the cabinet. He knew he was supposed to be acting as if she was dead, but she couldn't help referring to everything as theirs anyway.

He was too lazy to actually drag his feet to the fridge and get water from the pitcher, so he filled his cup with lukewarm tap water. What did it matter if it was cold anyway? It's not like it tasted like anything...or like anyone had even filled the pitcher since Artemis left.

When it was half full, _or maybe it was half empty_, Wally turned the water off and trudged to the bathroom. Their cabinet was full of pain killers, mostly leftovers from back in their hero days. It seemed like both of them had trouble following directions and actually finishing an entire prescription. Wally shoved the bottles to the side until he found what he was looking for.

_Restoril. _

AKA prescription sleeping medication, which he'd been given a little after Artemis di-_left_. The bottle was still pretty full. Sure he was anxious at night worrying or whatever, but it wasn't that serious. Sleeping pills weren't necessary and they made him feel weird the entire next day after taking them. He didn't need them.

Or he hadn't thought he had, but this was the third night in a row he'd woken up; and he couldn't afford the lie awake in bed for the rest of the night like the last two. He couldn't keep acting like this. He was waking up constantly as if she was going to come home in the middle of the night and he was going to miss it or something.

_Take one before going to sleep_.

One? Yeah, right. He was a speedster and regardless, he really needed this to work.

_He took three_.

**So I travelled back,**

**Down that road**

**Will she come back?**

**No one knows**

An hour.

It had been an hour and he just couldn't sleep. He closed his eyes and he saw her. He opened them and he saw her. He lay down and he thought about her.

Fuck the stupid pills. They weren't even working.

He was just lying flat on his back, arms behind his head, staring at the ceiling. Various distracting scenarios played throughout his mind – him and Artemis together at home, walking to school together, just being together so that he knew she was safe. God, he wished she could turn around and come home so he could get on with his life; but those were pipe dreams. At least they were,

Until he heard someone knocking at his door.

**I realize, yeah**

**It was only just a dream **

He couldn't imagine who would be at his apartment this late. It was damn near three. These were hero hours…

And Artemis was a hero.

It couldn't be, could it? With a sudden excitement, he threw the door open. It wasn't long before disappoint took over and his entire face dropped.

"_Dick?" _

"Wally I-," he says before holding up a familiar looking necklace. Here was her necklace, but where was she? She had to be here right? He was expecting it to-she just had to be here…

"I'm sorry."

_**It was only just a dream**_


End file.
